Iamwipedouttoo
New Member
I have a 17 year old daughter who was just recently diagnosed as having ADHD with ODD and possible depression. I also have a 19 year old and a 14 year old (and a 40-something huband.)
I am at my wits end and doing my best to understand the whole thing but it is hard to understand and she is not taking the diagnosis well. We are all seeing a counselor together so I guess that is a start of what is going to be a very long road.
I could go on and on about the background but I'll cut it short by saying she just never seemed to like to take the word no for an answer, even when she was given an explanation (according to my mom, that was the reason why we have had so many problems with her! Funny, my other two didn't have the same problem and were given explanations, too.). We tried many different discipline methods with her and none seemed to work.
Despite our bringing up her issues with pediatricians and teachers we were always patted on the head and told "good luck. You have a strong willed, stubborn child. Be firm and she'll be fine." or "She'll be able to be more organized as she grows." or "All kids don't listen from time to time. Why should she be any different?"
I've been like a crazy person the past few years delving into any parents of teens minds to try to figure out if this was just typical teen behavior or something else so I feel some sort of relief from knowing there is a real problem causing all the things we've seen with her over the years. I can't help but feel angry with all the individuals I trusted to give me good advice who didn't, though.
As you probably know, years and years of this has left me exhausted.
I am worried that the extra stress is catching up with all of us. I am very worried about my my fourteen year old. I am not as involved with his school activity as I had planned because of all the extra stuff we have to do with his sister right now and while he's being understanding I fear if this goes on too long, he'll end up resenting her even more than he already says he does. I am worried about my 19 year old, too. It is not an easy thing to deal with for all of us.
To complicate things, my husband refuses to give into the adhd stuff. According to him she just needs to decide to get her head out of her you-know-what.
Anyway, that is that...I could go on and on but I'm so sick over thinking and talking about this every day that I need a break.
Thank you guys for being here. At least I know now that I am not alone. I wish I would have found you all sooner!
I am at my wits end and doing my best to understand the whole thing but it is hard to understand and she is not taking the diagnosis well. We are all seeing a counselor together so I guess that is a start of what is going to be a very long road.
I could go on and on about the background but I'll cut it short by saying she just never seemed to like to take the word no for an answer, even when she was given an explanation (according to my mom, that was the reason why we have had so many problems with her! Funny, my other two didn't have the same problem and were given explanations, too.). We tried many different discipline methods with her and none seemed to work.
Despite our bringing up her issues with pediatricians and teachers we were always patted on the head and told "good luck. You have a strong willed, stubborn child. Be firm and she'll be fine." or "She'll be able to be more organized as she grows." or "All kids don't listen from time to time. Why should she be any different?"
I've been like a crazy person the past few years delving into any parents of teens minds to try to figure out if this was just typical teen behavior or something else so I feel some sort of relief from knowing there is a real problem causing all the things we've seen with her over the years. I can't help but feel angry with all the individuals I trusted to give me good advice who didn't, though.
As you probably know, years and years of this has left me exhausted.
I am worried that the extra stress is catching up with all of us. I am very worried about my my fourteen year old. I am not as involved with his school activity as I had planned because of all the extra stuff we have to do with his sister right now and while he's being understanding I fear if this goes on too long, he'll end up resenting her even more than he already says he does. I am worried about my 19 year old, too. It is not an easy thing to deal with for all of us.
To complicate things, my husband refuses to give into the adhd stuff. According to him she just needs to decide to get her head out of her you-know-what.
Anyway, that is that...I could go on and on but I'm so sick over thinking and talking about this every day that I need a break.
Thank you guys for being here. At least I know now that I am not alone. I wish I would have found you all sooner!