Now she's starting the meltdowns before the bus

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Lothlorien, May 2, 2007.

  1. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    It's getting worse. She came down in shorts. It's 45 degrees this morning. I told her no way, go put pants on. Things got worse. I don't have time for a half hour meltdown when the bus is coming in 20 minutes.

    I've been really depressed lately, especially over all of this. Every time I start to feel better, reality smacks me upside my head.

    Today's my anniversery. I just want to curl up in a ball.
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I can relate.

    Mine has insisted on sundresses in 40 degree weather. It's not worth the fight. I let her wear it, and let her deal withthe natural consequences.

    I have a warm set of clothes and a set of shorts AT the school, and on days she dresses inappropriately, I just let her go. I put sweats or something in her backpack and make her wear a jacket. If she wants to be cold, I let her be cold. I always make sure that she has a way to get warm. IF she gets cold enough, she will put on the warm clothes.

    It took me raising one difficult child to completion to figure that out. She got though the day, and now asks what she should wear. Well, usually.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I agree with Kitty. This is one battle I wouldn't fight.

    Some kids (like mine) have sensory issues. Pants bother them more than shorts. Some kids (again, like mine) run "hotter" than the rest of us. Pants make them hot and irritable. My difficult child 1 wears short-sleeve shirts year round and wore a fleecy hoodie instead of a ski jacket all winter long. My easy child has worn shorts in all kinds of weather. I tell her it's her choice, but she needs to bring warmer clothes in her backpack in case she gets cold. Honestly, this is a case of natural consequences, and they can learn from their choices.

    by the way, you can't imagine the number of middle-school and high-school kids who go out in shorts in the dead of winter. They're surviving just fine.

    Happy Anniversary! Mine is tomorrow.
  4. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I agree with kitty and smallworld. Put some warmer clothes in her backpack and let it go. I used to have similar battles with my difficult child until I decided that if she got cold, then she got cold. She would survive. Now she checks the weatherbug on the computer every morning. Both of my kids get hot easy, whereas I'm usually cold. When it hits 65 my kids are hot while I'm wearing a sweater. I don't think it's hot til at least 85.

    My easy child is one of those kids smallworld mentioned. Shorts and t-shirts year round and a fleecy hoodie for a coat. His dad got him a pair of jeans for Christmas. They are still hanging in his closet with the tag on them.
  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    This would be a case of natural consequences - wear shorts & you're cold. I've done this many times with the tweedles; however I've always called school to let them know the clothing choices made.

    I always had an extra set of clothing for kt & wm at school - they could choose at school if they needed to change.

    School supported me on this - you know, sweetie, this is a battle I just stopped fighting.

    Happy anniversary - hope you find quiet time to celebrate with husband.
  6. bystander

    bystander New Member

    I agree with the others. I'd just let her go and have warm stuff available. I can't TELL you how many kids I've seen wear shorts through the winter - including below 0 ... and FLIPFLOPS for goodness sakes!

    For your own piece of mind - I would just step back and take a look at the stuff that bothers you. Chose the ones that REALLY are a no, and manage/let go of the ones that aren't critical.

    My husband used to let the girls go to school with whatever. He put his foot down though with stuff like mid-drifts or other provocative dress.
  7. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My difficult child was complete opposite temperature wise for the seasons. She wore shorts in winter and sweatshirts in summer. There was no way I could fight it. It was naturally more comfortable for her.

    Some things we really do just have to overlook. There will be many abnormal things about our difficult children that we shrug off. We have to. It is not comfortable for us, but when we see how much happier our difficult children are - it is worth letting go sometimes.
  8. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    Ditto here. difficult child bugs to wear shorts, he runs hotter as well. Not worth the arguement. We have compromised that he at least brings a jacket on the days that I feel it's too chilly. He didn't argue that after one day of insisting wearing shorts and he was freezing before he even got on the bus, lol!

    Some things they do need to learn on their own.

    I'm also one of those people who is always cold so when it is probably warm enough, I'm still freezing.