now what?

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by UpandDown, May 23, 2016.

  1. UpandDown

    UpandDown Active Member

    My son survived a week without weed and it was quite a week. I think I now have a much better understanding of just how painful things are for my son when he faces it without drugs. It was really just an awful week. He was so irritable and his emotions were exhausting and seemed to suck the air out of the room. I tiptoed all week around him and tried very hard not to react to his dark mood. He was working hard to not give in to temptation and I can see that for this to work, he is going to need LOADS of support. He said he wanted to take yoga which was something his therapist recommended. He was eating very healthy but had a hard time making himself eat. He complained for several days of feeling really physically awful. Weak legs, terrible stomach ache, etc. And yes, I know for certain it is only weed that he uses although it sounds as if he was detoxing off something more powerful. My feeling is that this was all depression rearing its ugly head with no drug to temper it. He spent some time with friends and although it was hard, things seemed ok. Then Friday night came. He was off with a friend and when we didn't hear from him for several hours, we texted him. He called us back, sobbing and so upset that we couldn't really understand him. He refused to tell us where he was and we were unable to track his phone. He said he was sorry for disappointing us once again and that he was feeling very depressed. My husband stayed on the phone with him for over an hour and finally got him to come home. He wanted to hug us (unusual) and said he knew what he had to do. He reassured me that he wasn't going to hurt himself. He asked his dad to go hiking with him the next day. Unfortunately it poured here, so they didn't go. He did call an old friend and spent time with him. This is a friend who is very anti drugs so I take that as a good sign. He seemed ok the rest of the weekend. Yet, its very possible by Sunday he gave in to smoking. I have been worried sick and don't know what to do. I am terrified for him. I see him trying to hard and I hear him sharing how awful he feels. He seems to be taking steps to help himself in a way that he will allow. He tells us that he hates feeling this way,hates having to rely on weed, and wants things to be different. No prodding however gentle or firm will get him to take medication. He does take fish oil supplements and that is all he will allow. Last night he actually asked for help with his math from his sister. And they worked for a long time. All good signs but I wish i had a clue if I was doing the right thing. I'd feel better if he were in a hospital where he can't hurt himself and force him to take anti depressants. But that feels wrong too. I know he needs and wants to feel success and worthy of something. I am wracking my brains as to where I can reach out for someone to support him. Any suggestions? He does have a wonderful therapist. Thankfully.
  2. worried sick mother

    worried sick mother Active Member

    Why is he so against taking antidepressants? What's his reason?? Sounds like he wants to do what's right and wants to feel better. That does sound like detoxing not wanting to eat and the body aches. I wish he would just try some medication. That's great that he has a good therapist. A therapist explained to my son that she didn't want to take medication herself but she finally just had to come to the reality that without she feels like she is in the pit of hell and she never wants to go back there. I wish I had a suggestion. Unfortunately we can't make people do what we know would be best for them. Hang in there
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Maybe he is experiencing a psychological withdrawal from always being high? Maybe things will improve as he learns to feel again. If he lets himself.

    Personally I have had both severe depression and still fight anxiety every day and tried pot at 19 a few times. I felt scared on it as it gave me a dreamlike sensation and made me paranoid. I think people with these challenges will only harm themselves by messing with pot.

    I've taken an antidepressant for decades and I feel just like my normal self only I don't get debilitating depression. I also haven't lost my motivation, which pot robs you of motivation. That to me makes it a useless "medicinal" drug. You need your motivation to survive.

    I hope your son stays clean and finds a sober way of dealing with uncomfortable feelings. Certain therapy like, cogniitive or dialectical behavioral therapy really help me manage my anxiety day to day. And meditation, which you can get help with by going to YouTube and searching for guided meditation, is far more helpful than pot too. What type of therapy does your sons therapist do? Plain talking therapy did not help me at first, not until my depression was better and my anxiety was under control. I needed to be taught how to relax ,not just talk about my life...just talking with therapist about Life often turns into a quantity party, but does not teach the patient how to challenge his thinking patterns. This is especially important with anxiety. Depression, if bad enough, is often clinically based and can last indefinitely without medical treatment, but I don't think pot ever did anything for depression other than making the person too spaced out to care that he or she is depressed.
    Last edited: May 24, 2016
  4. UpandDown

    UpandDown Active Member

    Thank you for your thoughts and personal experience. He says he won't take the medications because they don't work. He is extremely stubborn. I do hope the therapist is challenging his thinking patterns. She has been working hard to establish a relationship with him , where he trusts her and doesn't think she is trying to change him. She has done a brilliant job at that as no other therapist has gotten him this far. She got him to think about yoga and meditation which is a huge step. Great suggestion about you tube, as he can do that with very little effort right from home!