O.M.G. What a week so far...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Suz, Aug 26, 2009.

  1. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I swear, my son will be the death of me. :9-07tears::919Mad::9-07tears:

    O.M.G. :faint:

    He is home. I am home. What a week so far.

    Exdh is going to send me the pictures he took of Rob since we got there Sunday night. We have a day-by-day album, from the time we arrived and he was in a coma for 16 hours and every orifice was connected to "something" :scared: , until today when we drove him home.

    He has a severe traumatic brain injury, two black eyes, a nose that started off on his cheek (!) until they repositioned it (!!!), countless stitches on his face and road rash. He has lousy short term memory, difficulty finding words, language that would make a sailor blush.

    He's a mess.

    I am terrified that, since he's never been known to have an ounce of common sense, that he won't follow doctors' orders but there isn't a dang thing I can do about it. :9-07tears:

    He didn't do one thing right. He was riding a motorcycle he bought that he'd never transferred title on. It had no insurance. He didn't have a license to drive it. He didn't have a helmet on...and his blood alcohol level was "over the legal limit."

    If the only thing he's charged with is speeding, he can consider himself one lucky devil.

    I cannot tell you how much it meant to me to know that you were all holding vigil for us and with us. When I read the posts I simply bawled. Thank you sooooo very much to each and every one of you for taking time out of your day to send your care and thoughts and love. It really meant the world to me.

    I am a wreck. I've gone through shock and sadness and fear and I'm now into the MAD-ANGRY-MOM-YOU-SCARED-ME-TO-DEATH stage. From past experience, I know it will pass and that I will have to somehow build up my detachment bobblehead skills again.

    O.M.G. What a week.

    Thank you so much for being at my side. I love you all.

  2. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Suz, I am so glad to hear Rob is home. I'm not even going to worry about the legal stuff at this point.

    The important thing is that he's started recovery.

    Will you be getting him into some sort of rehab now that he's home?

    TBIs (actually any sort of nervous sytem injury) take a long time to recover from because nerve tissue regenerates at a slow rate.

    He's probably going to need multiple sorts of therapy to help him recover. Unfortunately, at his age you can't make him do anything. I just hope he is able to listen to instructions.

    Meanwhile, try to rest up and relax as much as you can. You've still got work ahead of you.
  3. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    I am glad to hear that you and Rob are home. Considering the condition of that accident the fact that you got to bring him home is a miracle. Our family has been praying for strength, healing and sending all available angels for you, Rob and to continue in the days, weeks, months ahead.

    It's odd, the morning that Fran posted Rob was okay I was sitting at my desk and had to close my office door - I just cried. I guess even in cyber families we get to know each other, become attached and care deeply.

    I'm sure you have many things to do and another hat to wear Nurse Suz - so I send you hugs - and love and peace. A hug and healing for Rob.

  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I am shocked that they didn't prescribe rehab of any kind (!)....just rest. He is to followup next week with someone to remove his stitches. Within the next week or two he needs to see a plastic surgeon or ENT about his nose. In a month he needs to see a neurosurgeon to get another evaluation.

    He lives with his fiance, over an hour away, so his rehabilitation from this point forward is beyond my control and is in his hands...and hers. He's 25 and I have no say.

    I will call and "nudge" but I can't force. It is it's own special hell.

  5. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    It's a sad sign of these economic times that he is already out of the hospital.

    Suz, I really relate to your pain and fears. Both my difficult children are passionate about motorcycles. I try to not think about what might happen one day. ADHD+fast motorcycles=bad news for families. We are powerless to keep them safe.

    I will continue to pray for the best for Rob. I hope maturity comes soon, it will be harder with a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). SIGH.

  6. runawaybunny

    runawaybunny Guest

    {{{BIG HUG}}}

    Welcome back Suz.
  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Suz, You have been through alot this week. I cannot imagine how very exhausted you must be and also how hard it is to detach when your boy is so badly hurt. I will pray that he does what he needs to do for a full recovery AND that he has learned his lesson and gives up his wild ways. Rest now, -RM
  8. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Thank you.

    I can feel your hugs and I appreciate them.


  9. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Suz, I am so glad Rob is "okay" and will have a chance to recover. These sons of ours are going to make it, I hope. Hugs and prayers that you can relax and rest a little. Sounds like Rob has a long road ahead of him---and you and I both know that means mom does too.
  10. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I'm glad you are all home but I know you'll never stop worrying. I hope Rob realizes, or his fiancee will, that he needs some rehab.

    Sending hugs to you all. Take a breath Suz, have a glass of wine or three....we're sending Raoul over to work his magic. Tell Richard to keep his jealosy under control.
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I cannot believe he is home already. I had a much different trauma but I was in rehab for over a month! I saw motorcycle victims in there too. Rob really must have lucked out in the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) dept. I do hope he does what he is told and rests up. He is going to act like a bipolar patient for quite some time. He will have lots of mood swings, problems with temper, all the emotional issues. He will have problems with executive functioning skills too. That will make him mad so he will lash out in anger. Maybe look up info on Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)'s and send it to the girlfriend so she knows what to expect so she knows it isnt anything she is doing or can do anything about. It is just something he has to work through.
  12. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Wow - and to be home already? You must even be scared to have that responsibility on your hands. I know I would be super scared to bring someone home that early even though I would want them home.

    Rob is going through so much at this point, maybe the rehab info will be presented in a near future doctor visit? Maybe they want him to get a little further healed before figuring a treatment plan in that area?

    I guess I would encourage him to make an appointment with his personal doctor ASAP to go over the entire picture and see where rehab can be put into it.

    My guess is that hospital procedure is a lot like Emergency Room these days - just address the immediate needs, get them out the door and let their own doctor set up long term needs?

    Hugs -
  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Many hugs.

    Is he willing to go to a rehab place if you can get the doctor to recommend one? Sometimes docs just don't bother with physical therapy. When my bro was in a bad car accident the doctor did a truly superior job of stitching him back together, even hid the cuts on his face better than most plastic surgeons could. But the guy REFUSED to give my bro a PT referral. Said it wasn't real medicine and wouldn't help.

    Bro pushed and pushed to the point he told the doctor if he didn't get the referral he was going to sue. If he hadn't had the PT he would not have been able to get the rods and pins out of his legs and that means he would not have spent a season in Antarctica and a lot of other stuff.

    If you can, gently push him and his girlfriend to get a second opinion ASAP. IF he doesn't he could end up with what Steph got. The hand cut that the doctor wouldn't treat for weeks? And now she has RSD and it is hideous. It also may or may not EVER go away.

    Rehab is important, but you are also going to have to just be glad he is alive.

    Be prepared for serious behavior changes.

    Many hugs, even if I don't post a lot of replies.
  14. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    EW, exdh and I talked and are going to try to take out a life insurance policy on Rob as soon as his bruises and lacerations heal. He scares both of us to pieces with his continued impulsivity. This was a horrendous reminder that he will always be a difficult child, even though he's made tremendous strides.


    'Stang....please send Raoul over TONIGHT. I could use the distraction. Richard will just have to understand. :)

    Rehab wasn't mentioned at all in the instructions when we left. Followup with other physicians- yes. He doesn't have a primary care physician so that's on Heather's "to do" list for tomorrow.

    Janet, I hear ya. We've already seen many of the things you described. He's lost time, he has short term memory problems. He gets teary, then angry. His df Heather has been forewarned and has seen this as well. It is wonderful to see how gentle and loving she is with him and he is completely devoted to her.

    Rob didn't have a true friend until he met a guy at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) when he was 17. Can you even imagine not having a real friend until you were that old?

    Well, I simply cannot tell you how wonderful it was to have so many people rally around him this week. Sunday night exdh and I were up all night at his bedside, along with Heather and her Mom. On Monday, ex's new wife, Heather's dad and his girlfriend showed up, as well as Heather's brother and sister, and a friend of Rob's and the friend's girlfriend (who fainted when she saw Rob all connected up!).

    In addition to the many, many calls and text messages that Heather got over these days from other friends.

    I suspect that most of these folks are difficult children in their own right......but he was so lonely as a child and to know that so many people love him and accept him is just...well....simply wonderful.

  15. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm glad to hear he's home. I'm sure you are bouncing between all kinds of emotions but let's just hope he learns from this not to ever take risks like that again! The main thing though is that he's come this far already and he's still in one piece. TG!
  16. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry that you all have to go through this. I hope you all will be well. (The little dickens...)
  17. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Adding my gladness to the mix :) What a relief it must be. Now that the "dust has settled," so to speak, I've a feeling it may hit you more emotionally in a day or two... at least, that's been my experience with such trauma.

    Hang in there..
  18. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member

    What a week?! That's putting it mildly.

    Glad Rob is doing better. Hope you can get a bit of rest -- you must be absolutely exhausted!

  19. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Oh Suz, what a week indeed. Tears are flowing, not only because of what you and your family have been through, but hearing about the circle of friends that surrounded Rob... heck of a way to realize the he has built a village, but I truly do appreciate how gratifying that must have been.

    I'm so relieved to hear that he's home. Sounds like he's got a long road in front of him but... (shiver), it could have been so much worse.

    I hope you are taking some time to decompress and recoup. I'm sure you feel like you've been beat by a 2x4 several times over. ;)

    I continue to send up many good thoughts for you all, but especially for Heather and Rob. Many hugs to you.
  20. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I am so very sorry for him and for YOU.

    My internship involves counseling DUI offenders. I started recently. I was in group all night. It was mind boggling.

    When you mentioned his injuries, I couldn't help but think of our daughter who suffered a brain aneurysm and brain bleed. The mind is a tricky thing.

    Good doctors will be important...and I think good nutrition. However, as you know, these kids often aren't the best with following good advice.

    Sometimes I think this is a test for us mothers as well as for these kids.

    Well, glad he is home.This must provide some relief for you...a little less stress.

    Wishing you well.