Okay, am I petty about the term "girly men"?

[WhymeMom?]

We went to a church service and they had a skit for young kids about David and Goliath....... told the story kinda in modern day terms about how you have to face your Giants....... While doing this skit the adult leader stated that Goliath challenged the Israelites to come out and fight him, or were they all "girly men" who were afraid? Now had she said it only once I would not have thought much about it, but she said it twice and then said (as Goliath) do all your men fight like girls?

Now I have the upmost respect for people who lead Sunday School groups and youth leaders.... it is quite a commitment, BUT to all the little girls sitting there listening to this story I wanted to go up and say hey, can you hear yourself? You are telling all these kids here that girls are second class and they can't "fight" their giants and will have to get a "boy" to do their fighting..... I just couldn't believe she did this...... she was a younger woman than me meaning maybe early 40's but what happened to being a little sensitive to the plight of your own sex? The only thing I chalked it up to was she was nervous being on stage and she just babbled these statements out. In the end I didn't say anything, but it really galled me to hear this from someone who is working with our kids..... We are also new attenders to this church, so I didn't want to rock the boat.....

Your thoughts?

 

[TerryJ2]

Hi Whyme,

I heard that term in the cartoon musical "Mulan," but it made sense because they were set back in the day of the Hun and they would have really said that.

This teacher tried to mix the new with-the old and it didn't work, in my humble opinion.
Actually, I didn't think it put down girls so much, as it sounded gay. Either way, that passage needed to be explained. Yes, they probably would have said that back then. Who knows? They probably say it in the Army now.
But this teacher needed more insight and creativity, in my humble opinion. Mabye a metaphor that is more up-to-date.

 

[ML]

I wholeheartedly agree!! Girls rule!!

 

[Jena]

Hi,

I agree with Terry on this one.

 

[hearts and roses]

Whymemom, I wish you had said something to the teacher quietly and in private afterwards; I would love to hear what she had to say in response.

I think that very often we're raised with certain terminology and phrases that have very antiquated notions. This terminology and those phrases do not carry well into our modern world, do they?

I guess you could give the teacher the benefit of the doubt that she was just getting into her role and considering the time when these actions took place. But like you, I am thinking why not take every opportunity possible to teach ALL of our children that they can conquer their giants...boys AND girls.

I would have been as upset as you. I am VERY sensitive to that sort of thing. I hate it when my H refers to his male clients as guys and the female clients as 'girls'...I always correct him and just say, "Women". He always rolls his eyes at me. I'm sorry, maybe I am being picky, but any female over the age of 19 is no longer a girl, in my opinion. Know what I mean??

ps: My father in law still calls some middle aged women "broads"!!! O-M-G

 

[Fran]

As a mother of son's, I find the fact that to be a man you must be able to fight or considered a second class citizen who is on the same status as women.
It perpetuates the myth that fighting is the way to prove oneself and that women are less than equal.

 

[KTMom91]

I would have asked the pastor rather than the teacher about the phrase. To me, "girly men" implies that girls are weak and defenseless, and must have a big strong boy around to protect them. Negative image, especially for those of us who did (or are doing) the single mom thing, that Mom can't keep us safe.

The last time I heard the phrase "girly men" was from our illustrious governor, Arnold Schwarzeneggar. As I remember, he didn't make any friends over that remark.

 

[klmno]

This sounds like another case where I have to wonder why people seem to have less and less common sense all the time. When I think back to some of the things school teachers said to the young kids when difficult child was in elementary school, I am appalled that they didn't know any better.

 

[Star*]

Well when she refers to Ruth as a manly-girl? Then I think you should jump up like a Phillistine with the jawbone of an *** - and.....

Yeah I'm with Frans comments on this one -

I can no more see Goliath sticking his bum into the wind and shaking it and going neener neener neener than I can him calling the sword of God a girly man.

 

['Chelle]

I'm with you that anyone who is teaching kids should be very sensitive to all the meanings of what you tell them. The way she put it, a man isn't a man if he isn't tough, strong and willing to fight - and girls are weak and unable to fight.

Hmmmm thinking about this, I did tell easy child once that the reason she lost a kumite match was because she was punching like a girl (if your punch is weak you don't score for it), so I guess I'm guilty too. Will amend that in future to don't punch so weakly, punch like you mean it.

 

[susiestar]

I think the comment was totally out of line. Mostly because, well, I have seen girls fight and I have seen boys fight.

girls are by far the most VICIOUS fighters out htere. Most who are trained to deal with fights will wade into a bunch of guys fighting and will stand aside while the girls wear themselves down.

Cause when you wade into the fighting girls you are risking your life. with guys fighting you might get hit a time or 2, but you will survive.

I HATE idiot phrases like that and see NO reason why they should be used, ESPECIALLY in a church function!