On your scale of stressors for you...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Anxworrier, Sep 16, 2012.

  1. Anxworrier

    Anxworrier New Member

    Where does dealing with no homework notes from school and then school conferences regarding no home works fall in your range of street. Because I think I am gonna have a panic attack every time I think about the meeting on tues, mostlybcui cry all the time, easily, and my difficult child cannot take responsibility for his actions and I'm scared how the mtg will go. at the same time I realize this isn't normal for me to not be able to handle this. Normal good moms are tough, proactive, and can confront what they need to. I want to lay in bed.
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Errr... I guess it really depends on your idea of "normal", hon. There have been a LOT of times that I have just sat and bawled my everlovin' eyes out because I just did not know what to do. About school, about Onyxx & Jett's bio mom, about Onyxx and her behavior/drug use/MH issues, about husband's oldest son, heck about husband!!! School is a HUGE, HUGE thing for me. Some kids aren't made for mainstream school... I hated it because I was immature and a crybaby, but at the same time I relished the work itself. I love to learn new things.

    Right now I am about ready to go OFF on Jett's school (and Jett FWIW). I finally got the access code to look at his grades online and I am LIVID. He's been back in school for 3.5 weeks and has a "D" average. Guess what? Not a single email from a single teacher. husband hasn't gotten any, either. Missing assignments all over the place. I'd rather have the communication so I can confront Jett and tackle the problem head-on. Even the SPED hasn't contacted us at ALL. Now I realize way-back-when, my parents would've had no clue till report cards came out, but the teachers DID call when there was an issue.

    I've had to develop rhino skin, dealing with Onyxx & Jett's bio mom and the courts, and Onyxx's issues. So I'm toughened some - but when I logged in today and saw "35.63% - F" I wanted to cry. Obviously being proactive (well, trying) isn't helping. I get really frustrated when they nod and smile and agree and then didn't listen at all!!! Not just the teachers, either - the kids!

    I'm sending you my spare Warrior-Mom Rhino Skin. It's shiny, but there are a few dents and places I've had to mend it over time. However, it is in great condition - wear it well and be proud, just asking for help is being a GOOD MOM!!!

  3. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    I don't know about normal, but I just thought about one evening almost exactly six years ago, when I was sitting on the rock on my personal hiding place in the forest bawling my eyes out and wanting to never go back home and to a school meeting next morning about my difficult child's truancy issues. I think it was around 3 a.m when I got myself moving and back home (and husband was ready to call police and report me missing.) It was probably only the idea that winter was coming and first snow was coming soon and I wouldn't be able to live from forest after that, that made me go back home. Without that you could probably read about crazy forest lady who haunts Northern Europe's wilderness, howls to the moon and runs screaming, when hears passing people talk about schools or meetings.
  4. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    School is a huge stressor for me and for my difficult child. It has been that way since day 1. He is 16 and can barely read. Those meetings are brutal. I cry too. Just remember that even if your child is a huge pain in the drain, they still deserve tp be educated and not swept under the rug.
  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Oh, sure - 'cause all of us "normal good moms" just cannot WAIT to get hauled into school to hear about what a lousy parent we must be if we cannot even get our kid to do the homework.

    been there done that one too many times...
  6. confuzzled

    confuzzled Member

    school is probably the #1 stressor for me too....i literally have a panic attack when the phone rings during school hours (so much so that my BFF has a special two ring/hang up/call back so i dont go into overdrive).

    and throw in actual homework, missing assignments, and various social missteps i'm lucky i dont need the economy size bottle of xanax to keep me sane.

    and i kind of think i'm pretty normal :-D

    so no words of wisdom, but i think you are in good company....dealing with constant real or imagined issues is crazy-stressful.
  7. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    There is no such thing as normal, and good moms worry about their children so you qualify.

    I hate school and it has been probably the biggest stressor in my life for the last 10 years, and I don't mind confrontation. Don't beat yourself up. You're doing the best you can in a crappy situation and that's all any of us can do.

    As far as where homework fell in importance in the scheme of things - difficult child had so many bigger mental health issues going on, that it was Basket C for a long time. The school didn't agree with that, but then they never really agreed with anything when it came to my daughter and me.
  8. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    You mean it's not "normal" to curl up in a ball and cry for hours about things your difficult child has done? Well, what do you know? Maybe husband has been right all along.

    Seriously, if you feel the great need to cry, cry! I have done it many times. While it may not have changed anything, it did make me feel better to get the tears out and then I could try to figure out what my next move was going to be. And as for wanting to lay in bed, I've done that, too. Kids on the school bus? Check! My, curled up on the couch all day long, doing nothing except watch The Tudors? been there done that! I think we all have.
  9. Anxworrier

    Anxworrier New Member

    Ooh id love to borrow your rhino skin for my tues morn mtg! I don't wanna embarrass my son with my hysterics, but there's no guarantee I can get thru this without crying.
  10. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    If he can be embarrassed, then he can take responsibility for his actions... EMBARRASS HIM!!! :bigsmile:

    And the rhino skin? Is already on, you just have to see it... :wink:
  11. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    There have been some mtgs that the only reason I got through them is that I took someone else with me. You know its bad when at the start of the mtg the school staff are asking "are you o.k.?"
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Liahona, good idea!
    Although Step's idea is pretty amusing ...