JayPee
Sending good vibes...
Hi to All,
I've not posted in a while. Maybe I thought I was "better" or something. I'm not sure. Some movement in the right direction for my younger Son, (26) was happening. He had been working for about 7 months. He was an assistant manager at one of our local "dollar type" stores. I was so proud of him and I told him so very often. For those of you who don't know, for many years he lived in his car, suffers from PTSD, Anxiety and much more. He lives with a few roommates in a rough part of town but nontheless it's a step up. Just before Christmas he said he quit his job. Issues with the head Manager. My heart sunk but he said he had two month's rent saved so he's still heading in the right direction taking care of himself. Although, he's started to ignore my texts because I keep asking him if he's found another job yet. I'm still hopeful that he's made some good changes and will continue down that road.
The older son, who will be 32 in a couple of weeks is another story. I re-connected with him and opened "my wallet" again. Large amounts of cash to help with rent/food etc. Always feeling the next big chunk of $ I give him will put him right where he needs to be to get to be where he should be. He is living with two roommates (so also for him an improvement because his car was his home for a while too). We're pretty much back to square one where he's looking for money and never has enough to get him through until his next pay day. He's only working 20 hrs. a week and I've told him I can't be the supplement for the 2nd job he should have. He of course, doesn't see it that way and feels he's working very hard and I look down on his achievements. He says I don't see him for who he really is when in reality, I can see him for who he exactly is. It won't be long before he starts calling me names again.
I guess I just needed to see the reflection of my life "on paper" again to hopefully awaken me to the repetitive cycle I've been going through for years. I pray that some day I can really get off the merry-go-round and stay off.
I've not posted in a while. Maybe I thought I was "better" or something. I'm not sure. Some movement in the right direction for my younger Son, (26) was happening. He had been working for about 7 months. He was an assistant manager at one of our local "dollar type" stores. I was so proud of him and I told him so very often. For those of you who don't know, for many years he lived in his car, suffers from PTSD, Anxiety and much more. He lives with a few roommates in a rough part of town but nontheless it's a step up. Just before Christmas he said he quit his job. Issues with the head Manager. My heart sunk but he said he had two month's rent saved so he's still heading in the right direction taking care of himself. Although, he's started to ignore my texts because I keep asking him if he's found another job yet. I'm still hopeful that he's made some good changes and will continue down that road.
The older son, who will be 32 in a couple of weeks is another story. I re-connected with him and opened "my wallet" again. Large amounts of cash to help with rent/food etc. Always feeling the next big chunk of $ I give him will put him right where he needs to be to get to be where he should be. He is living with two roommates (so also for him an improvement because his car was his home for a while too). We're pretty much back to square one where he's looking for money and never has enough to get him through until his next pay day. He's only working 20 hrs. a week and I've told him I can't be the supplement for the 2nd job he should have. He of course, doesn't see it that way and feels he's working very hard and I look down on his achievements. He says I don't see him for who he really is when in reality, I can see him for who he exactly is. It won't be long before he starts calling me names again.
I guess I just needed to see the reflection of my life "on paper" again to hopefully awaken me to the repetitive cycle I've been going through for years. I pray that some day I can really get off the merry-go-round and stay off.