one week since I made difficult child move out!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by hearthope, Feb 2, 2007.

  1. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    Just sharing ~
    mon. kept busy with all of you on the site
    tue. 5:00am news ~ police find car that matches description of my difficult child's girlfriend's car.
    it has been torched and there is a body inside. The license plates and vin #
    have been removed. They don't know if body is male or female.
    Long story short-I called sherrif, I couldn't get a definite it's not your son
    until 2:00.
    All these panic feelings, I ended the day driving by mcdonalds to see if he was
    at work, he was. I had all these conflicting thoughts. That mother's heart
    came busting through the detachment, not good.
    wed. difficult child shows up at easy child's school.Hanging out with his old difficult child buddies (the one's
    still in school) they had skipped and difficult child told easy child he was skipping with them
    easy child asked him what he was skipping from ( score one for easy child! ) She was very
    angry, I was very angry he was there. Anger helps detachment ALOT!!
    thur. so busy at shop, no time to dwell on difficult child.
    fri. so busy at shop, no time again.

    All in all, this week went okay, except tues. Hopefully this will get easier and easier. I will continue to post and I thank all of you again for your insight.
     
  2. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Hang in there and try not to get caught up in difficult child's behavior. I know its not easy, but your sanity is on the line....most of us have been there or will be where you are. Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts....
     
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    HH....I know its hard not to worry. I am not in the exact same situation as you but I have two kids not living at home and the one idiot living here. With the one who is living here and causing me the problems what I have trained myself to do is simply refuse to worry about him if he isnt here. Most of the time I am dead on right when he fails to show up...he has been picked up or is in trouble. If I worried myself sick over it I would get nowhere...he has to deal with his messes.

    Now I also have my middle son who is actually in a semi dangerous profession and moving into a more dangerous one. He has trained me well to deal with "no news is good news." He will become a cop up in Maryland sometime in the next couple of months after he gets out of the Marines. I simply cannot sit home and worry about everything he is doing or I would go nuts. I used to worry every day that I would get the knock on the door telling me he was killed in the Corps. Well he made it thru. Now I just live with no news is good news. If something happens someone will find me.

    Same thing for you. If something happens to your son, someone will find you...they will. As long as you dont hear anything, you can rest assured he is just fine.
     
  4. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    Oh my! hope the week ahead gets better. I am supporting my sis emotionally thru her time. She threw her son out a month ago and he is still not working, drugging and trying to get her to take him back in. he is 32 yrs old!!!

    it is hard but do-able. hang in there! keep busy!
     
  5. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You are doing great. I have found that staying busy is the best thing ~ keeps your mind off difficult child antics.

    Hang in there. It does get easier with time as you realize that they can and do survive on their own.

    ~Kathy
     
  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    [ QUOTE ]
    police find car that matches description of my difficult child's girlfriend's car.
    it has been torched and there is a body inside. The license plates and vin #
    have been removed. They don't know if body is male or female.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    I take it this wasn't his girlfriend's car....or body? :wildone:

    :smile:Lordy, what a week, HH. :smile:

    Hang in there.

    Suz
     
  7. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    I too, stay very busy. It keeps your mind off of difficult child stuff. If something bad happens, I'm sure I'll someone, (either difficult child or police) will let me know.
     
  8. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    Thank you all for the encouragement! I am not having the mixed feelings as often.

    I keep telling myself it is for his own good, regardless of what it feels like.

    If I continue to save him he will never change.


    It's helps so much to post those words, I thank God I have this site to share.
     
  9. Lori4ever

    Lori4ever New Member

    You'll be in my thoughts. I do know how hard this is. Take care of yourself.
     
  10. AliceLee

    AliceLee New Member

    Hearthope, I would have been terrified, too, after seeing that news report. I'm so glad it was NOT his car! I'm always afraid I'll see something about my difficult child on the news...

    Keep hangin in there. I agree with the others, "no news is good news." But I must admit, when it comes to my own difficult child, I have a hard time practicing what I preach. I tend to "project," or think up all kinds of negative scenarios of what might be happening to her...most of the time they are unfounded. I guess we've just had enough bad experiences with our difficult children to be constantly looking for more right around the corner.
     
  11. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    Just wanted you to know I am reading along too, HH.

    If the kids only knew what we go through....

    Barbara
     
  12. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    [ QUOTE ]
    Just wanted you to know I am reading along too, HH.

    If the kids only knew what we go through....

    Barbara

    [/ QUOTE ]


    My saving grace is having my easy child that does seem to understand what I go through. God sure knew what he was doing when he gave me her!!
     
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