Malika
Well-Known Member
Wouldn't you know it? There I am kind of congratulating myself that these past weeks J has been something of a little easy child - no tantrums, no running away from the house to play in the village, sweet and co-operative... sound familiar? Those being lulled into security periods... except that this one has been longer than usual.
Tonight is the night I - sometimes, not always - go to my meditation group in the local town. J is looked after by the childminder he doesn't really like because my best efforts to "educate" her, she punishes him by making him stand in the corner, etc. Anyway, when I went to pick him up from the after school service at the school, he was crying, being punished by standing away from the other children - apparently he had hit a little girl (though he says he was just trying to tickle her) and then would not stay where he was so ended up being there for a long time... Anyway, then some monstrous J appeared when I tried to leave with him. Shouting, crying, hitting me, running away. Cut a long story short, it took me twenty plus minutes to get him out and in the end I had to pick him up kicking and screaming. Nobody at school had ever seen him like that and I was taken aback by this violence out of nowhere. In the end, I was too late to go to my meditation group, which leaves me feeling somewhat resentful and cross, as if I am being held to ransom by a six year old. At the same time it's me the grown up, him the child who doesn't really know what he's doing, etc.
Key factor COULD be that apparently he had had nothing to eat since lunchtime. Normally he has an afternoon snack that he takes with him but today he had eaten it all in the morning.
As I was leaving, a woman who I am supposed to be friends with just made a kind of grimace as she went to pick up her little boy. Great, thanks a lot for your support and compassion...
I do feel concerned about future right now. medications is NOT going to help this sort of thing... it's just going to create as many problems as it wears off as it seemingly solves.
Now he has had supper and is happily watching television beside me, sucking his thumb. The ugly, aggressive teenager of earlier has disappeared. But it shows me that it is there, within him...
Tonight is the night I - sometimes, not always - go to my meditation group in the local town. J is looked after by the childminder he doesn't really like because my best efforts to "educate" her, she punishes him by making him stand in the corner, etc. Anyway, when I went to pick him up from the after school service at the school, he was crying, being punished by standing away from the other children - apparently he had hit a little girl (though he says he was just trying to tickle her) and then would not stay where he was so ended up being there for a long time... Anyway, then some monstrous J appeared when I tried to leave with him. Shouting, crying, hitting me, running away. Cut a long story short, it took me twenty plus minutes to get him out and in the end I had to pick him up kicking and screaming. Nobody at school had ever seen him like that and I was taken aback by this violence out of nowhere. In the end, I was too late to go to my meditation group, which leaves me feeling somewhat resentful and cross, as if I am being held to ransom by a six year old. At the same time it's me the grown up, him the child who doesn't really know what he's doing, etc.
Key factor COULD be that apparently he had had nothing to eat since lunchtime. Normally he has an afternoon snack that he takes with him but today he had eaten it all in the morning.
As I was leaving, a woman who I am supposed to be friends with just made a kind of grimace as she went to pick up her little boy. Great, thanks a lot for your support and compassion...
I do feel concerned about future right now. medications is NOT going to help this sort of thing... it's just going to create as many problems as it wears off as it seemingly solves.
Now he has had supper and is happily watching television beside me, sucking his thumb. The ugly, aggressive teenager of earlier has disappeared. But it shows me that it is there, within him...