OK, so we all know that I don't want to do gifts this Christmas, and that I am fine being invited to share in food or celebrations but I'm not doing anything at my house since both of my kids have other things going on and it would be a hit and run visit from them anyway. If they (or someone) would like to invite us to dinner or drinks, fine. If no one does, fine too, because it's our choice. Now for the passive aggressive part. How tacky would it be for me to avoid the big fight with L by posting our plans - or purposeful lack of plans - on my Facebook wall just before Thanksgiving. There's actually a charity that I'd really like to give to this year, and my intention is to make sure that the kids know that if they need anything (this is more for M than L. A girl with $1,200 worth of tans at the best salon in town clearly doesn't "need" anything) that we can talk about helping them out with the thing. I figure I will have more of an opportunity to explain (to everyone) that I am actually doing this in what I feel the spirit of the season is. I'm not saying I don't want to spend time with them, just that I won't pretend to be the source of my adult children's Christmas, or to be disappointed that I can't offer that to them. What do you think?