T
toughlovin
Guest
Hi all,
Well the court date is over and my son is on his way back. Phew!!! I have many mixed feelings. on the other hand things did not go like I worried they would, difficult child was sober this morning, did not get arrested and court went very well. Basically there was a good disposition today and he will not have to come back for another court date. That is very good and a big relief. on the other hand I did question him more about the spice thing and I think this time he was honest with me. He got a real cynical attitude which really worries me. It seems like he recognizes he has some underlying issues he needs help with and those are the reasons he uses drugs, but he does not seem to really get the fact that he has a serious drug problem. This worries me a great deal... and my hope is that at least a part of him does see it, but that he sees me as so rigid on the non drug use side that he plays up this attutide in part to get my goat. That is my hope but I suspect he really is in denial about the level of his drug problem.... which makes me think he is going to screw up again... and if he does he will be homeless far away from home.
And I think the girlfriend may be somewhat back in the picture which worries me a lot too.... because she is what brought him back last time and that was a disaster. Gosh I wish she would just end it for once and for all.
And our relationship is difficult. I mean we did not have any major fights or anything. He is polite and thanks us for things we do.... but really we do not really know what to say to each other. In a way we don't really want to spend time together. I like to see him, and get a look at him, but the time togehter is pretty uncomfortable and that makes me just plain sad. I don't see a way back from that without some really major therapy on his part. I mean bottom line is he is not comfortable with us really.
And my husband left on a business trip so I feel lonley with my worries and thoughts tonight. The bottom line for me though is I think I am resigned to whatever will happen will happen. We really have done all we can at this point. We helped him get out of this legal crisis, helped him get into treatment and to a place where he has supports.... and now it really is up to him. Completely... and if he ends up homeless I need to just let it happen.
Ugh... I am hoping with support down there and I think his sincere wish to work on the underlying issues that he will get the help he needs.
But it just makes me feel very unsettled.
TL
Well the court date is over and my son is on his way back. Phew!!! I have many mixed feelings. on the other hand things did not go like I worried they would, difficult child was sober this morning, did not get arrested and court went very well. Basically there was a good disposition today and he will not have to come back for another court date. That is very good and a big relief. on the other hand I did question him more about the spice thing and I think this time he was honest with me. He got a real cynical attitude which really worries me. It seems like he recognizes he has some underlying issues he needs help with and those are the reasons he uses drugs, but he does not seem to really get the fact that he has a serious drug problem. This worries me a great deal... and my hope is that at least a part of him does see it, but that he sees me as so rigid on the non drug use side that he plays up this attutide in part to get my goat. That is my hope but I suspect he really is in denial about the level of his drug problem.... which makes me think he is going to screw up again... and if he does he will be homeless far away from home.
And I think the girlfriend may be somewhat back in the picture which worries me a lot too.... because she is what brought him back last time and that was a disaster. Gosh I wish she would just end it for once and for all.
And our relationship is difficult. I mean we did not have any major fights or anything. He is polite and thanks us for things we do.... but really we do not really know what to say to each other. In a way we don't really want to spend time together. I like to see him, and get a look at him, but the time togehter is pretty uncomfortable and that makes me just plain sad. I don't see a way back from that without some really major therapy on his part. I mean bottom line is he is not comfortable with us really.
And my husband left on a business trip so I feel lonley with my worries and thoughts tonight. The bottom line for me though is I think I am resigned to whatever will happen will happen. We really have done all we can at this point. We helped him get out of this legal crisis, helped him get into treatment and to a place where he has supports.... and now it really is up to him. Completely... and if he ends up homeless I need to just let it happen.
Ugh... I am hoping with support down there and I think his sincere wish to work on the underlying issues that he will get the help he needs.
But it just makes me feel very unsettled.
TL