Hi. I"m so confused by my 4.5 year old and his behaviour. I am researching all kinds of disorders and he has some traits of sensory processing disorder (SPD), Aspergers, ODD, and ADHD. The one that fits best would be mild ODD, however, from reading on this forum, most people don't seem to think that is a real diagnosis. I have taken him to a very good developmental pediatrician, who evaluated him for 1.5 hrs (played lots of games, both with us there and in another room with a nurse--also asked lots of questions about him) The dev pediatrician said its not aspergers and he is not on the spectrum, and probably not ADHD. His best guess was "anxiety." I just don't know what is going on with him. Our family history is that we have a few people with aspergers or Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified and a few with anxiety disorder (but adult onset.) Some comments about my son: --very dominating, in your face, personality. Needs to be engaged or have someone to play with at all times. Poor self-entertaining skills. Loves/needs constant interaction with another person. Bosses his way older siblings around non-stop. (or at least he tries to) --talks constantly, dominates conversations, interrups constantly, whines a ton --complains a ton. His food is too hot, we ran out of his favorite snack, he doesn't want to go to the store, he doesn't want to eat lunch, etc. It feels like he complains about everything. --very oppositional. Fights pretty much everything. If you give him two choices for lunch, he wants a third choice. If you give him a piece of candy, he wants more or he wants a different kind. If I tell him we are going to the park, he fights getting ready to go, and then fights leaving the park when we are done. Things are never "good enough" for him. This aspect of him WEARS ME OUT. --poor self-help skills. Doesn't want to dress himself, feed himself, etc. Hates learning anything that makes him independent. Likes to have me to stuff for him all the time. --very bright kid, and is ahead academically and is a very very fast learner. (knew numbers, letters, at age 2, and he figures games/puzzles out quickly, is doing 1st grade math, etc) Preschool teacher commented to me he is supposedly the brightest 3 year old (this was last year) she has ever seen. His older brothers are in gifted programs and he appears (so far) to be the brightest of the bunch. --is extremely social. LOVES to have friends over, and begs for them constantly. Usually has 4-5 playdates a week. He has three best friends and they all seem to love him. (they call him to come over too) He gets along very well with other kids (won't hit them and takes turns, is a good friend etc). Has amazing social skills and knows how to play in groups. Behaves well in group settings like preschool, gym class, etc. Respects other adults but not those close to him like parents, grandparents, etc. --has anywhere from 2-10 full on screaming, hitting, flailing tantrums a day. I have to lock him in a room when he does this. Almost anything can set him off. --loves to annoy people, on purpose. (not his friends, but adults and older siblings) Constantly pokes, pushes, tries to close doors on people, takes off his shoes and then screams to have them back on, throws food, etc. If you are on the toilet and he wants to use it, he will barge in and try to push you off. He loves to annoy his older brothers in any way he can. He is VERY aware of what he is doing and it is on purpose. --amazing imagination. Loves to play pretend. Plays 'house,' 'restaurant,' "star wars' etc. He loves to pretend to be "daddy" and when he is pretending to be daddy, he acts and talks JUST LIKE husband. --very self-aware. He will say, "when I scream, I have to go to my room. And if I hit you on the way to my room, you will add 5 min to my time-out." or "If I throw a tantrum when I'm supposed to stop playing wii, then you will take it away for the day. But mom, did you know that I never throw wii tantrums when I have a friend over?" I am taking him to a mental health professional next week but wanted to know if you have any thoughts. Thanks!