Possible O.D.D?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by OverwhelmedMama2013, Sep 30, 2013.

  1. OverwhelmedMama2013

    OverwhelmedMama2013 New Member


    I am new here and was hoping for some advice on ODD from parents who have experienced it. My son, who is 8, has several of the symptoms on the checklist and I am really not sure where to go from here with diagnosis and treatment.

    A bit of a background. He was a fine baby and toddler, no problems at all with behavior or defiance. He is in 3rd grade and so far up until this year he has done great in school. He is in speech therapy and has been since he was 18 mths old. He has pretty much been the model student. Never gets in trouble, always very helpful in the classroom and gets great praise from his teachers.

    This school years has been increasingly difficult for him. He has gotten in trouble a couple of times in school. His homework in the evenings is a nightmare for everyone. He refuses to do it, insisting he has no idea what to do. He will argue with me, yell, scream, get frustrated and hit things. He has always had a bad temper when he gets upset with something. He will go to his room and tear something up, or hit something. During homework time he upsets everyone by his refusal to do anything. Once I can get him to calm down, he will happily sit down and do his work perfectly fine, and get it all correct. It's like he goes thru a melt down at the mention of homework.

    If he gets the least bit upset over anything he automatically blames someone else. He will yell at anyone, hit himself, hit anything near him (aside from people, he's never hit anyone else). It's like his fuse is SO short.

    When he does not let his temper flare, he is the most loveable child I've ever met. He is cuddly, and sweet and very helpful. He is a generally happy child, until he gets upset at something, even if it's something tiny, and then he blows up.

    If anyone has any more questions please feel free to ask them. I am honestly at a loss. I don't know what's going on with him.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi. The vast majority of people here don't believe ODD is a stand alone or helpful diagnosis. ALL of the kids here probably qualify for ODD. Then what? Well, they usually have another disorder fueling the behavior, such as ADHD, autistic spectrum disorser/Aspergers or a child's mood disorder.

    It would help us tremendously if you give us more of a background on your son and your family dynamics, including his very early years. Were they stable or did he have many caregivers and experience divorce/remarriage/etc. Any abuse in the background? Anything on the family genetics tree, even if he never met his biological father, including psychiatric, genetics or neurological problems? Any bipolar or Aspergers or anything at all? Does he know how to socialize appropriate with his SAME AGE peers (not younger or older). Any strange quirks of behavior or obsessive interests? How are his motor skills, maturity level, and ability to transition from one activity to another? Any sibs?

    The problems with speech can be a few things and point to certain disorders. The fact that he has been ok with school but as he is now getting into the more demanding grades that require homework he is struggling and acting out also point to a few disorders. If you live in the US, I recommend taking him to see a neuropsychologist for an intensive evaluation. Obviously something is "off" and it is not his fault. Sounds like he gets frustrated very quickly, which leads me to think he is differently wired. He sounds like a sweet little boy who can't help his meltdowns.

    The more you share with us, the better a picture we have and the more we can point you in a certain direction. I would not try to diagnose your own child by any checklist. We are too emotionally involved and not knowledgeable enough to know what to look for in certain disorders/problems. I would definitely do the neuropsychologist. in my opinion this is the best diagnostician you will find in the US. You may have a long wait, but it's worth it.

    You may want to do a signature like I have below.

    Welcome to the board. Obviously, sorry your son is struggling a bit and that you had to come here though.
  3. Confused

    Confused Guest

    Welcome OverwhelmedMama2013, I agree, he needs to be tested but also ask his speech therapist his/her opinion and see if you can get an Occupational Therapist (OT) or someone that you all can start talking to and helping meanwhile. Bring this up to his pediatrician as well. Look at reading the Explosive Child- everyone here suggested it to me and I am now re-reading it again. Hugs

    *** check his diet for allergies, you never know- like the red dyes, dairy ,anything.
  4. soapbox

    soapbox Member

    Sure... but how is he with PEERS? Kids with social skills deficits can still get along fine, often, with adults... or with kids much younger or older than themselves. But peer relationship challenges are a major red flag. How many REAL friends does he have? Not the kids names he rattles off if you ask who his friends are, but... does he go to a peer's house to play, and is this an on-going relationship? Is there someone in his class that will stick up for him? If not... he probably has challenges that you don't see.

    Does he get bullied? Being bullied brings it's own problems, but... often, kids with challenges end up being bullied more often than not.

    What else changes at your house between the "before homework meltdown" and the "after meltdown homework"? Such as... does the house suddenly get more quiet? If so... he may be dealing with some form of Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) (auditory processing disorder). Two forms of this get missed more often than "classic" Auditory Processing Disorders (APD): auditory discrimination, and auditory figure ground. The first is difficulty distinguishing subtle differences in sounds. The second is difficulty filtering out background noise in order to really HEAR what is important. Both cause major problems in the classroom... and/or at home, if the home is not conducive to quietness for communication (i.e. turn of ALL sound-generating electronics and electrics... yes, including the fan and the kettle... and even running water!).
  5. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Welcome! About 3rd grade the work gets harder and kids who are a bit different have more problems with it. Some kids also hold it together at school and then release at home. Sounds like he needs more testing to find out how he is different. The neuropysch is a great idea. If you suspect any sensory issues an Occupational Therapist (OT) testing would be good as well. My difficult child 2 grips the pencil to hard and writing is a struggle for him. I would've never thought of that being a problem. Getting him tested for an Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) would be a good idea as well.

    With testing and accommodations life does get better.
  6. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    This child doesn't have "ODD". He has some variety or varieties of learning difficulty. That's my 2 or 20 cents' worth.