Gfgbro has NO idea of the abusive things he has done to me in the past. My therapist says that I have NO responsibility to tell him these things. I really do NOT want a relationship with him beyond Christmas and birthday parties at my parents house. He came over the other day to measure my laundry room for shelves. a nice gesture. But I had a migraine and was vomiting. I TOLD him that. He came anyway. AFTER he was done measuring he ordered Jess to do something and with her knee and back she shouldn't have done it. So she tried to explain we are dealing with problems and she can't. He had a raving fit! Totally went OFF on her. On a 13yo girl!!! I came out, holding a bowl and vomiting, and asked him to please leave. He said I was faking it. (Yeah, I fake puke all the time. NOT.) How can I get across to the family that seeing him at mom & dad's house is MORE than enough? He pesters me all the time to tell him what he did. I don't know if he doesn't remember or refuses to remember, but I know if I tell him the worst stuff he will kill himself. Not joking in any way. He will kill himself. and he has a daughter that needs him - her mom is totally unstable about 1/3 of the time. I think he is drinking, or at least on a dry drunk. If I say ANYTHING to my mom she instantly places the blame on someone else - even the weather! If I talk to my dad he just shrugs. And if I talk to my bro, well, that is a HUGE fight and I am not up to it. do I write a letter to him? He keeps asking me if i think he is some kind of monster. I think he USED to be a monster, but has changed somewhat. I am frustrated, stymied, and confused. Any ideas?