Quick history as I haven't been here in awhile. Sorry in advance as this is long and probably confusing... 25 yr old mentally ill/substance abusing son went to jail for 4 months, then immediately onto a 90 day intensive inpatient treatment center (first time in IITC, countless under a year non violent jail stints). girlfriend was pregnant when he went, she is also mentally ill with rapid cycling bipolar (latest diagnoses), severe anxiety, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Son has done well so far. He's been sans medications since two months or so before arriving at Inpatient Center about 45 days ago...the jail psychiatric had him on depakote for a few, but not long. They think now that he's been off of drugs (meth, opioids, etc) that he may not need medications. Psychiatrist and son think that more than not, the illicit drugs have been causing his psychosis problems. He's been seeing his therapist a few times a week and going to two meetings a day, lots of group therapy, counseling, life skills, anger management, etc. He's been sober for going on 6 months or so and seems determined to stay this way. The girlfriend has had the baby. He's seen and met his baby daughter--this was a major turning point I think for him, just seeing and holding his baby girl._ girlfriend on the other hand is giving me constant grief and not letting me see grand daughter. She lives with her parents, where her mother is bat %#$%# crazy. When I ask if I can come see baby, it usually sparks a fight where I refuse to argue, then both the girlfriend and her mother non stop text me VERY VERY long winded bi polar sounding threats and nastiness. The more I refuse to engage in that, the more they text and threaten to leave state, hide the baby, never let me see them, lie on me, lie on my son, the list is endless... In my state grandparents have rights. I can file and have threatened to do so and will be doing so soon if I cannot come to an agreement with them to see baby regularly. First, the court likes to see you try to be cordial and figure it out without intervention. Which is where I am at...documenting, keeping crazy texts from both girlfriend and mother.... The GFs dad has come over to my side, called me yesterday while I was at work and begged me to PLEASE "take the baby away" from girlfriend. He said he would go to court and stand up for me that girlfriend is incapable of caring for baby. That she is so mentally ill, that her sister and her mother are giving 90 percent of care to baby. UGHGGHH. I had to stop him as I know it's just not that simple. These are church going bible thumping people who do not believe in mental health services, they think GOD will fix all. It's been a crazy train roller coaster. Maybe, just maybe I have convinced the dad to get proper help for the daughter. I suggested before he evict her, he give her the clear ultimatum of getting therapy and staying on medications, or getting evicted. I think he's with me on this....she has been in the system for at least the past 6 yrs but the mother always says its ok for her to quit that it's up to GOD anyway to help her....ughhh. Too much to explain here so I will leave it at this....Just hoping the Dad sticks with helping me. I think he will because not only has he had it with his "crazy" wife, but also the "crazy"daughter. He's on his last legs with both of them...I almost feel bad for him, but in reality it's been him enabling the two hens for EVER. Neither have ever worked, and have no clue about anything in reality other than "using" men to get what they want. Ughhh...I digress....sorry. BUT, finally, I am going over there this Sunday. Sitting the whole messed up family down and trying to sort out an agreement where girlfriend will not be kicked out unless she continues to refuse treatment (have the dad on board to support me, and the two hens girlfriend and mom usually follow what he says). And to sort out an agreeable arrangement so that I can start building a bond with new baby grand daughter. By the time I leave THEY WILL KNOW I CAN BE THEIR BEST ALLY OR WORST ENEMY. I am preparing for battle, but first things first. Calm, cool, and collected, gather evidence....keep dad on my side.... As for son, I am very proud of him right now, also going to see him Sunday. He told girlfriend it's over, no chance of ever being romantically together. Ever. Again. While he's been incarcerated, we all have been notified that girlfriend has been seeing another guy since early February, a few short weeks after he was jailed. A guy who she is using to buy her things non stop. GFs father told us about it, but there's also half a dozen other guys she's been "playing". Son is done. There is no trust between either of them, my son's fault too, I KNOW....and he finally knows that moving forward is the only way. He is free to walk out of this inpatient facility. It's not a locked place. I am so glad he hasn't done this as girlfriend played the "push/pull" game with him since day one. Last time he got back with her three weeks ago she broke it off the very next day, posting that she was "married" to some other guy, meanwhile son can see all of it on her facebook. He's been known in the past to lose his temper to the point of knocking out two men, and blackening the eyes and breaking the noses of two other men all in one fight, four men at once. Not cool I know, but my point is, if someone even looks at his mom or woman sideways, he's unable to remain calm. So, just this alone shows me he's serious about getting it together. He stayed very clean this time around. No fights, no drugs, no problems, just going to every and all meetings, therapy sessions, group therapy he can and it's showing me he's doing better. AND most of all, didn't freak out and leave to go after that "other" guy when he found out of the cheating girlfriend...thank God. Son told her to stop contacting him (she sends private fb messages every day all day crying for him to get back with her---well not now as she's been blocked), unless it's to do with the baby. We are filing our own motions with the court next week. Even though he's in treatment he can get day passes for legal issues including this... And with her father on our side, for now, it's best to strike while the iron is hot. Although all of this could change....that family changes their minds like I change my underwear. Daily. All of it's being documented. Son is trying to turn it around, and this treatment will help his case as well as help him period...just hope he keeps on the proper trajectory. I talk to him every day, actually for long periods of time, which is nice--he's doing better one day at a time. Any words of advice for my upcoming trip to see baby, and that whole family Sunday, would be much appreciated. Even with all of this, we are blessed. I feel grateful in so many ways. One thing is youngest son just won a major competition for himself in Boston, at the national level. He's coming with me to see other son to support him too on sunday afternoon after the whole other visit deal...ugh. But feel grateful and blessed in alot of ways.