lovemysons
Well-Known Member
Hmm, Interesting Nomad.
A few years ago when I was very actively involved with AA and Al ANON, I remember going on and on about how my husband had made my life sooooo miserable and of course the difficult child's too. I remember a man listening to me and telling me..."There are no victims, only "willing participants". It was he who helped me look at my role in my own unhappiness and "victimhood". I DID have alot to do with my circumstances...how controlling I had been, how resentful and angry, spewing this on those I loved...and how I had stayed in the marriage even when I felt victimized etc. I played a huge part in all of it.
I was also helped to stop looking at myself as such a martyr...Had a real problem with thinking I was the "good guy" who saved the day, did the right thing, came to the rescue etc while everyone else was the bad guy, again, I played a role and had to take responsibility for my part...I had made choices that no one but me had forced upon me.
Anyway, I think people who get dxd with this "disorder" might be helped with some good council and the ability to really stop and look at their own role/choices throughout their lives.
Tammy
A few years ago when I was very actively involved with AA and Al ANON, I remember going on and on about how my husband had made my life sooooo miserable and of course the difficult child's too. I remember a man listening to me and telling me..."There are no victims, only "willing participants". It was he who helped me look at my role in my own unhappiness and "victimhood". I DID have alot to do with my circumstances...how controlling I had been, how resentful and angry, spewing this on those I loved...and how I had stayed in the marriage even when I felt victimized etc. I played a huge part in all of it.
I was also helped to stop looking at myself as such a martyr...Had a real problem with thinking I was the "good guy" who saved the day, did the right thing, came to the rescue etc while everyone else was the bad guy, again, I played a role and had to take responsibility for my part...I had made choices that no one but me had forced upon me.
Anyway, I think people who get dxd with this "disorder" might be helped with some good council and the ability to really stop and look at their own role/choices throughout their lives.
Tammy