Ok. I need some advice. My 13 year old son with ODD was at the library today after school. He was going to walk home with friends (that was the plan) but his dad, who works next door, found out that he had gotten into trouble at school. Dad marched over to the library and told our son to come with him to his office because he had been suspended from school for yelling at a teacher (obviously unacceptable). Well, my son, when confronted with his dad, told him he wasn't going to his office, that it was his time with his mom (me) and that his dad did not have the right to tell him what to do when he was in his mom's care. Apparently his did did not like this response and he grabbed his arm when he turned to go away. As my son is extremely defensive and has severe tactile issues, this did not go over well. It became a huge physical event with my son trying to break free and trying to hit his dad to get away and my ex trying to contain my son and prevent him from hitting. At one point I was told he had my son around the neck and up against the wall. I was not there so I don't know how it happened exactly, but a stranger approached the scene and yelled at my ex and told him he was going to call the police. Another stranger who apparently has experience with ODD and Conduct disorder, came to my ex's rescue and told this guy to go to H*ll. I am not sure how it all ended but my son walked home and my ex went back to his office. Now I am dealing with my son who is in his room and grounded for the rest of the week and also dealing with my ex who is crying on the phone about how unfair life is. Honestly, I want to kick both of them for being so stupid! Why would my ex, who knows about how difficult it is for my son to accept change of any kind, go over to the library and cause such a scene and make it physical in public and why would my son not listen to his dad and escalate the situation? The situation is complicated by the fact that his case manager at school won't listen to me and won't provide the level of service that I am pushing for and his dad has been pussyfooting around with our psychiatric with getting the new medication for our son (cymbalta). ARRRGGGG!!!! Now his dad is saying that he doesn't want him this week. But he wants our 'normal' son. Personally, my feeling about that is that if I am going to raise my one son by myself, then i am going to raise them both by myself and move closer to my family. He doesn't get to pick and choose. Am I being irrational? I hate days like today!