hearts and roses
Mind Reader
I've been doing WW for a couple of months now. I lose, then I gain, then I lose, then I gain. I can't seem (or didt really care enough) to stick with it 100% so I haven't been very successful. In fact, although I'm not gaining, I can't fit into anything anymore.
So, today I went to Victoria Secrets to get myself a couple of much needed bras. I went up a size, not cup mind you, but the number size - that in and of itself is depressing, but I can deal. The salesgirl (all 6' of her skinny behind with flowing gorgeous blond curls) hands me a basket with all different bras in my size and escorts me to a dressing room. As soon as I was undressed, I was so focused on that gelatinous wiggly hanging over my pants middle, that I couldn't focus on the shape and fit of all the bras I tried on. I chose one, paid and left in shame. I cried for 20 minutes in my car.
I am not fat. *Technically* am still in my weigh range for my height, perhaps over by aout 5 lbs. But I am so out of shape. And I haven't been able to kick start by behind into gear. I am not a morning person and by the time I get out of work, it's pitch black outside. My house is too nuts to do an exercise dvd at home, and with H lingering around, he'd be too annoying. And he mocks my efforts sometimes. I can't afford a gym - all the ones around my house are $90+ a month.
I was thinking of maybe Jazzercise. I have to check it out.
I am so disheartened and all I can think of is what our counselor said "When it hurts enough, you will change what you're doing". I think I'm there.
So, today I went to Victoria Secrets to get myself a couple of much needed bras. I went up a size, not cup mind you, but the number size - that in and of itself is depressing, but I can deal. The salesgirl (all 6' of her skinny behind with flowing gorgeous blond curls) hands me a basket with all different bras in my size and escorts me to a dressing room. As soon as I was undressed, I was so focused on that gelatinous wiggly hanging over my pants middle, that I couldn't focus on the shape and fit of all the bras I tried on. I chose one, paid and left in shame. I cried for 20 minutes in my car.
I am not fat. *Technically* am still in my weigh range for my height, perhaps over by aout 5 lbs. But I am so out of shape. And I haven't been able to kick start by behind into gear. I am not a morning person and by the time I get out of work, it's pitch black outside. My house is too nuts to do an exercise dvd at home, and with H lingering around, he'd be too annoying. And he mocks my efforts sometimes. I can't afford a gym - all the ones around my house are $90+ a month.
I was thinking of maybe Jazzercise. I have to check it out.
I am so disheartened and all I can think of is what our counselor said "When it hurts enough, you will change what you're doing". I think I'm there.