Seb Update

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by EB67, Jun 3, 2007.

  1. EB67

    EB67 New Member

    Hello all!

    First and foremost I want to thank you all for leading me to The Explosive Child. At the risk of sounding like a cheesy commercial, I want to say that it has changed our lives. Literally.

    Since reading the book, calm has been restored to this house. Seb has not had an explosions. NOT ONE. I've worked hard to identify his triggers / pathways and have been successful in limiting the exposure to situations that have triggered explosions (where I can). Homework, a trigger, is inevitable, but I have adopted Plan B (and most importantly stopped arguing with him).

    I have modified our world where possible to avoid or limit triggers. Contrary to my feelings about not quitting and staying the course, I permitted Seb to withdraw from the weekend teams that are the constant source of anxiety and explosive outbursts. He said: "Mom, I don't want to play soccer and baseball anymore-- I am terrible at it and I always feel sad and angry at games". Enough said. Done. Team sports are the source of brutal lows. Getting rid of them has been life saving I believe.

    I've spoken with Seb's teacher and she has adjusted Seb's work in a way that inspires him. Because of his ADHD and cognitive abilities, the endless mind numbing worksheets trigger massive explosions. His teacher said that in lieu of the worksheets, Seb can pick a research topic of his choice and present his research orally to the class the next day. This tackles two problems: the worksheet freak out and the graphomotor problems. And the net result is that Seb has been enjoying his homework and learning new things. Win win.

    I had my first 504 meeting which was a success-- I not only got all of the accommodations I hoped for, I also FINALLY got the district to agree to an IEP meeting. They would not consider Seb to be learning disabled because of his high IQ score and I have been SCREAMING for ages that I think he has 2 learning disabilities: dysgraphia and visual motor integration dysfunction. Finally they listened. His testing begins on Monday. Success.

    We've had a neuro psy evaluation, another meeting with the behavioral neuro and the schoool psychologist. All feel that bipolar is not the issue. Not now. A mother's intuition counts for something and so I am not writing it off. But for now it seems as if The Professionals agree that his anxieties, mood regulation issues and low frustration threshold are part of his executive function deficits. I am still watching him closely for BiPolar (BP). Too many red flags to say it's off the table indefinitely.

    Daytrana seems to be working well for now and I am considering what to do about weekends and holiday now that the school year is ending. Any ideas?

    I am cautious about my optimism now. Are we on an upswing or is this just a good cycle on the heels of a bad one?

    Thanks to everyone for the education and the guidance. Really.
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Good for you for making some positive changes in your lives.

    The Explosive Child did literally change our lives as well. It also enabled us to keep my son off of medications for behavioral issues except anxiety and was the primary strategy we used to bring him back a long, hard path from a combination anxiety/poor medication response.

    Most families who have initial success with The Explosive Child will have a stretch where things will go smoothly. Parents are working in a way that enables the child to function, and the child's knee jerk reaction to authority starts to relax. The Explosive Child is a significant intervention strategy, however, and parents who need to go to this extreme to bring about functioning usually are parents of a child with underlying neurological issues that WILL flare up again and ebb and flow over time. The difference is now that you have a tool in your arsenal that you didn't before--you will be better able to handle those periods.

    You should look into an Alphasmart keyboard for your son. Many schools have these small keyboards available for kids with handwriting issues. There's an Occupational Therapist (OT) program called Writing Without Tears that is beneficial to many as well.

    Keep digging through thorough assessments to get to the bottom of his issues. Accurate data will empower you more than anything.
  3. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Also, are you familiar with the GT-World website? It's a list for Gifted/Talented and many of the kids represented are similar to your son in that they have many issues that fall under the umbrella of Autism but not necessarily with an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) diagnosis along with difficult behaviors that lean into mood disorder territory.
  4. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Kudos to you for making such strides to help Seb! It sounds like it has made a world of difference in your lives!
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I wrote a long congratulatory post and ... had a computer blip!

    Short version? I'm thrilled that you found the resources, followed through and can see positive results so quickly. You
    did a great job! DDD
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So glad to hear things are going so well!
  7. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Ella, thanks for sharing your good news. It's always heartening to hear when a technique actually works.

    I don't know if you caught Allan's post a few days ago about Ross Greene's new website about Collaborative Problem Solving.

    Keep up the good work!