Showing her gfgness yet again...

[KTMom91]

Tonight was graduation, the band was performing, Miss KT got angry at the band director for telling her to put her phone away, and gave her the finger. An assistant director saw her, told the director, and it all broke loose. Miss KT has had trouble with this woman for several years; this is the main reason she isn't taking band next year. Apparently the director chewed her out, threw her out of band, threatened to have her expelled, etc., and so I've been getting calls from both Miss KT and my mother all evening. They're both upset with me because I was breading chicken and couldn't talk right then, so Hubby answered my cell.

I'm going to school with her tomorrow, to talk with the principal and see what her consequences will be. #2 had some trouble in high school, but neither parent went in with him, and he ended up in considerably more trouble that he should have. I want to be sure her consequences are appropriate to the offense and the district doesn't overreact.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

*sigh*

So sorry for your frustration!

 

[TerryJ2]

Arrrgh! I am so sorry.
I'm also sorry that you caught flack for not coming to the phone because you were breading chicken, but I like the idea that you were not at their immediate beck and call. If your daughter is living with-your mother, it should be there issue, no? Just the extra layer of dynamics you need, NOT!

 

[Wiped Out]

Yuck! Sorry you are having to deal with this. I think it's good that you are going in so they don't overreact-I know with my difficult child there have been times they have overreacted. Hugs.

 

[Andy]

It sounds like the school has already overreacted. Turn the tables on them by asking why in the world did THEY make such a scene? How can we expect our difficult child's to stay calm and work through problems when teachers can't figure it out?

Everyone was under the normal performance stress and the teacher's reactions probably ruined the evening for a lot of people. Her reactions clearly show she was reacting with anger - not what we want from our teachers. Tell them that they should have:

1. Observed Miss KT's behavior. Many kids make that last "I hate you" movement in either words or a sign. If nothing was done at that moment, it probably would have ended.

2. The next day, ask to TALK to her - not chew her out. Since the director is not mature enough to talk calmly and realize that Miss KT is still just a child, then another adult could discuss it with her.

I think difficult child's are like us. Once someone starts chewing me out, I am not going to make an effort to show that I wish I hadn't done something and in fact will continue doing so just to show them. However, if someone talked to me with concern for why I did this, I just may listen and may think about it.

Yes, Miss KT is in the wrong here, however kicking her out of band was certainly uncalled for. That is not going to help her learn how to handle her anger.

 

[KTMom91]

Just got back from school...Miss KT has a one day in-school suspension. I think that's reasonable, plus he was willing to let her serve it today, even though school started nearly two hours ago. He gave her a book to read while she sits. Yeah, right. But at least this will be over and done with today.

Regarding band...this director is not anywhere near to being in the same league as the previous one, and I've been in contact with the administration for three years, since she was an assistant. If Miss KT wanted to stay in band, I would pursue it, but she doesn't want to, so I'll let it drop. This was a number one, award winning, gold medal at Carnegie Hall (yes, really) performing band...until this year, plus kids are dropping like flies. Hmmm...I see a problem here, but apparently they don't.

So, she has a book to read, five bucks for lunch, and I pick her up about 3pm. Then she registers for her senior year with no obligations, and I count off the 186 school days till she graduates!