I remember back when we visited childless relatives for Christmas one year. We were in a caravan in their driveway, hooked up to their electricity. For the two weeks we were there, we were paying an allowance for the electricity and contributing to the shopping, so there was no risk that we would add to their living expenses unduly.
The kids - easy child was 5, difficult child 1 was not quite 4, easy child 2/difficult child 2 was just over a year old, and cutting all four molars at once. We had the two older ones sleeping in the bunks, husband & I had the double bed at the other end of the van and we had easy child 2/difficult child 2 in a travelling cot in the corridor of the van. We had learned (as many other parents have before us) to have a masking noise for the kids to sleep to, at least to begin with at nap time and bedtime. So we had a small radio hooked up to the caravan's power. There was also a small night light just inside the caravan door - no more than 20 W. We had a system well in place after we'd been there for the first week or more and the kids would go to bed and sleep soundly. We would go to bed a few hours later and once we were quiet and settled, we would turn off the radio.
The childless relatives had seen our routine and had also seen how easy the kids were to settle at bedtime. We could leave them in the caravan and go back into the house, knowing that if there was a problem easy child would come and fetch us. (Australian summer, remember).
So with some trepidation (these were CHILDLESS relatives) we accepted their offer to babysit while we went out to dinner (me, husband and in-laws). This was in the days before mobile phones, but shouldn't be a problem - we made sure the kids were settled and asleep before we left.
We had a lovely time and came home happy, to find childless relatives looking purse-lipped and grim, barely on speaking terms with us. "I thought you said the kids would sleep soundly and not wake?" they accused us. "They woke within half an hour of you leaving and screamed solidly. easy child's been restless, difficult child 1 has been clinging and won't go back in the caravan and here's easy child 2/difficult child 2..." who was just stopping crying, having seen us. I felt her - no fever, although she had been feverish on and off with the new teeth. I checked - easy child was huddled in bed wide awake and fearful. difficult child 1 was sitting inside the house nodding off in a blanket on the couch. And when we checked in the caravan - the light and radio were both off.
"Oh yeah, I turned the van power off once they were asleep - no sense wasting electricity," the somewhat miserly man of the house said. (There had been an incident a few days earlier, when he'd come back from JOGGING in 45C heat - that's way over 100F - to feel cold when he got into the air-conditioned house, so he SHUT OFF the air conditioning to save electricity. In 45C heat!)
He wouldn't accept that HIS STINGINESS had been the cause of the trouble - oh no, it was OUR spoilt children who were simply a nightmare to babysit.
husband & I were absolutely furious - we had only gone out because these relatives had insisted we have a night off, and to come home and have to deal with the kids who had had just enough sleep to not be able to go back to sleep now, meant we had a rough night. This only vindicated the man of the house, clearly our rough night had been the follow-on to some aberration in our children that had caused trouble for them also. In his mind, it had nothing to do with him turning off the night light and the radio, by turning off the power - easy child had tried to fix things by flicking the switch but when it didn't work, she began to panic. And she had only gotten involved because the other two were already crying, from the sudden cessation of sound too early in their night's sleep. For the sake of maybe 2c worth of electricity (which we had paid for anyway) the babysitting couple had a miserable time - and after they had finished complaining to us, so did we.
A classic example of false economy.
Our kids were a handful at times, we now understand why. But they were well-organised and if we stuck to the routine, they were wonderful. We never had any problems with them being babysat at home; and when away from home the only problems we ever had were when the sitter decided THEY knew best and would disturb them, like going in to kiss them goodnight, AFTER they've finally fallen asleep - you don't do that with such light sleepers. Such people (who like to kiss sleeping children goodnight) also like to get some sort of acknowledgement from the sleeping child for their troubles - a move in their sleep, maybe rolling over, hugging teddy tighter - but all you'd get from our kids if you roused them even that much was they would wake up thoroughly, declare that it was now morning, and where is breakfast? And a game?
We got our revenge - this couple eventually had two children. We've been gleefully enjoying the whole process.
People who either do not have kids of their own, or who have never had kids like yours (or who have conveniently forgotten) can really create a lot of distress for other parents.
Mind you, a kid sitting on library shelves - I'd be either keeping him out of the library or only taking him in on a leash, but that's me. And the noise factor - in the children's section, you have to accept this. You can try to teach them to shush, but it takes time for them to learn. You just keep trying. Our kids library has bean bags for the kids.
And hey, at least he isn't ripping books to pieces!
Marg
