So frustrated. What the heck??

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Lothlorien, Apr 28, 2007.

  1. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I have a babysitter come every Saturday to watch the kids for me, so I can work or clean or whatever. A mother's helper. She's been coming since last August. Lately, Missy has been a huge problem. Every week for the past several weeks, she's been giving this girl a hard time. Because the girl is following my instructions, Missy is angry with her. She has raged a few times. Today, they were playing hopscotch and Missy got mad becuase she messed up and the girl was playing by the rules (which I do with her also). She flipped. She's now up in her room sulking. She tells me every week, lately that she never wants to see this girl again, but is excited every morning that I go pick her up. She really does like this girl, but Missy is just so angry at the world lately.

    I don't think the Trileptal is working. She seems moodier and angrier, even when the girl isn't here.

    psychiatrist said she may want to switch it to Depakote.

    I'm leary about all these medication and medication changes. I may let her switch it this once, but if this doesn't help, I may just stop and use the medications just for the seizure control.

    I really don't want to go on this medication merry go round. It's no wonder that my neck hurts everyday and that I've been getting migraines constantly. I'm just so sick of all of this. I worry constantly now.
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I'd say something isn't right, especially if she's sleep walking as stated in your other post. I'd call your psychiatrist/neurologist and look at alternatives.
  3. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    She's always slept walked, even before the medications. She's been doing it since she was able to get out of her bed.

    She's up in her room reading. Right after I posted this, she started screaming for me.... the blood curdling, OMG-run up the stairs screaming. She said she was really dizzy and looked a little pale. She said she felt like she was falling and got scared. I calmed her down and gave her some orange juice. She seemed okay after that. MMmmmmm.....medications? getting sick? Another seizure?

    I have to make an appointment for the neuro this Monday.
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Loth, I'm not sure I understand your statement, " . . . I may just stop and use the medications just for seizure control." The anticonvulsants, used for seizures, are also used for mood stabilization (for example, my kids don't have seizures, but are on the anticonvulsant Lamictal for mood stabilization). Furthermore, seizures can cause behavior and mood problems. I personally think you need to treat both seizures and mood issues with the coordination of a neurologist and a child psychiatrist.

    For what it's worth, our psychiatrists (three of them) are underwhelmed with Trileptal's efficacy for mood issues. I've asked about Trileptal because it requires no blood draws, but all three psychiatrists have discouraged me. So while Trileptal may be addressing Missy's seizure disorder, it may not be targeting her mood issues.

    One thought about the babysitter: My kids always do better with babysitters when I'm not around. So if you have to get stuff done in your house, can the babysitter take the kids on an outing (say to the park, the library, or a coffee shop for a treat)?
  5. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    What I meant was that I would continue the use of either Trileptal or Depakote, but at the lower level, since the lower level has been controlling her seizures. If neither is controlling the mood, then I'm willing to deal with it, I guess, to save her from going on the medication merry go round.

    She is being treated with the neuro and the child pscychiatrist, in conjunction. They are talking with each other. psychiatrist said she had a feeling that she would need to switch to Depakote, probably for the very reason you spoke of.

    As far as babysitter....they are outside or in basement or sometimes at a neighbors. She is 14 and there is no park or place like that within walking distance, so that's not an option, unfortunately. difficult child usually does behave differently when I'm not around.

    She came down, a little while ago...finished reading her last book from library and has nothing else to read. She went down in the basement where easy child and babysitter are. She is starting her crap already! :grrr: It just never ends!!!!
  6. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I hate the medication/mood merry go round also... but for us, difficult child 1 was so up and down, we had to do something, it wasn't fair to her.
    Even this past week, she has been cycling so much, prior to the chicken pox, I felt like I was going crazy, all I want is a mood stabilizer for my poor kid... but we have to wait. For us the Trileptal caused severe stomach aches and we never saw the good affects, maybe we didn't get to try it long enough? Only about 5 weeks I think? There is also the dizzy factor upon standing with a lot of these medications???

    My difficult child 1 has been so depressed lately it is hard to watch, any emotion for our kids is so hard, when it is extreme.
    The rages, the up's and down's all of it is so tiring.

    I just started this new book,

    "Bipolar Kids- helping your child find calm in the mood storm" Rosalie Greenberg, M.D.
    So far it has been great.

    She explains a lot of things and makes it very easy to an emotional from the heart point of view...

    The thing with your babysitter/mother's helper is "Missy" may feel comfortable with her and is able to "be herself" with your helper??? She doesn't have to be on her best behavior with her for fear of loosing her love or friendship???

    Just a thought
  7. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I understand it can take a good while for medications to stabilize and to find the right ones. even people with high blood pressure undergo medication changes til they get it right.

    I am sure it can be so frustrating. each time you hope and pray this will be the one that does the right stuff.

    I hear ya.
  8. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Totoro, I am reading that book as well. I was reading The Bipolar Child, as has been recommended highly, but found it very depressing. I cried reading the first few chapters and had to put it down. I haven't been able to read it since. Missy's BiPolar (BP) is not as severe as a lot of those cases. It was too much for me to bear thinking of those kids in such torment from their own minds. My own faith was rattled. Bipolar Kids, by Rosalie Greenberg is a much easier read for me, emotionally.
  9. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    Loth, when ant was still pretty young and diagnosis with ADHD I went and read a stack of books from the library. it put me on the couch in a fog for a long time. I dreaded his future. I read where it can lead and of course, ant took me there in time.

    it did help though to be educated. even those with cancer or diabetes or other problems must learn about their own disease in order to deal with it.

    you are problem going some stages of mourning over this. perhaps the sadness and concern will move on and be replaced by acceptance gradually. I know I get so sad but then when I get over that, I get mad and go out there and fight back.

  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    It's so hard to tell whether it's an inner ear thing (has she had a cold lately?) or something with-the medications. Clearly, if she weren't on medications you'd be thinking it's just a virus. It's so hard when there are so many red herrings.
    Good luck. It's so stressful. :frown:
  11. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Is it the time of year?? We have been adjusting and switching medications since Feb. I am ready to quit also. I am going to call psychiatrist and just stay with Lamictal since that has helped him for a long time.
    Lucky you have a babysitter who understands. We never could find that. Had to have an adult neighbor. And SHE called me saying he wouldn't listen and ran away.
  12. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So sorry things are so frustrating. I hate the medication guessing games. It is so scary.

    The dizzy thing would have me worried as well. Inner ear is a possibility.