So much for Asperger's

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Aug 21, 2008.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Today at orientation, the teacher put all the kids on a riser and took a group photo. "Smile!" she yelled, as all the kids smiled.
    Except for difficult child, who immediately wiped the smile off his face and offered a blank stare.
    The teacher then asked for a silly pose. I shouted his name and jumped up and down and tried to act silly to get him to smile or wave, which he's usually pretty good at, and the other kids stretched their lips with-their fingers, crossed their eyes and stuck out their tongues.
    difficult child stood there with-a blank expression.
    Immediately after the flash went off, he stared straight at me and laughed.
    SO DELIBERATE.
     
  2. tonime

    tonime toni

    So sorry-- I know the frustration. Sometimes, I feel like I am too on top of my difficult child--wanting him to do what everyone else does-sometimes we need to let things go and let things be what they are. I know how hard it is. I really hate when difficult child does things SO on purpose--it's the hardest part.
     
  3. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Hmm, I have no idea! N who is only 4 does this. She is just a grumpy little kid though, in a cute way!
    Sometimes she is anxious about things like this and this is her reaction. When she is done with, for example the picture taking, she will be OK again. It is like she goes into shutdown mode?
    Sometimes I would love to have a test to know when and if they are intentionally messing with us!
     
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I'll be the devil's advocate: How do you KNOW it was deliberate?
     
  5. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Don't shut out aspergers! Keep in mind, he's still a kid! Just because they may be aspies doesn't mean that the devil doesn't pull their tail on occasion! :devil::winks:


    Beth
     
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    That doesn't mean he doesn't have Aspergers. Aspies tend to have very strange, off-beat senses of humor. It's the sort of thing my son would have done...bless him...lol.
     
  7. ML

    ML Guest

    I have to agree, my son would have done something similar.
     
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Wiz did this a couple of years. For 5th grade I almost insisted on retakes. The teacher told me the picture with him absolutely glaring at the camera was the NICEST one of the 4 they tried!!! So I made HIM pay for them. He looked like he was either the meanest kid or pooping a volkswagon.

    he knew they wanted a smile. It wasn't a new concept. He sure smiled the next time I paid for pictures though. Esp because I charged him 2x the cost of the pics - 1 x because he did it on purpose and 1x because he did it deliberately because he knew I wanted to send them to my in-laws and some friends back East.

    I am sorry he didnt' do what you wanted him to.
     
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Well, I can't ask him. He's been sound asleep since 5:30. Clearly, he was awake all night last night. Yet another reason he was so awful today.
    husband liked the idea of a door alarm and suggested Radio Shack.
    As for now, difficult child is on the couch and we're leaving him there. husband took apart the DVD player.
     
  10. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Pooping a Volkswagon!

    :rofl:
     
  11. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry...but now I have this visual of pooping a Volkswagen...and I'm cracking up...
     
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    ROFL! LOVE the Volkswagen!!!

    I also like the idea of making him pay for the pictures. Good idea.
     
  13. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Terry, this DOES sound like Aspie central to me.

    difficult child's health card (photo ID that you have to present at each doctor visit) picture looks like he's ready to throttle whoever was behind the camera. Doesn't do a lot to instill confidence in the medical folks who have to swipe the card each time.

    Sigh...I like the idea of making difficult child pay for the pics too.

    (And yes, It's going to take a while for the Volkswagen image to leave my head too.)
     
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Okay. I asked him why he didn't smile or make a face for the pictures.

    He said, "Because I didn't want to. I don't like pictures."

    I tried pressing him and he just raised his voice and yelled, "d*G! I just SAID because I DON'T LIKE pictures!!!"

    So, there you go.

    Whatever that means.
     
  15. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    That could mean:

    - the bright light from the camera flash bothers my eyes
    - the other kids are really keyed up and I can feel the electricity radiating from them
    - there are funny noises in the auditorium
    - I think I have a pimple on my chin. I don't want my picture taken
    - I may have to get my stupid picture taken, but I won't smile

    Or some combination of the above.
    Or something else.

    As you say, whatever that means.

    Fathoming the brain of a pre-teen is hard enough. Fathoming the brain of a difficult child pre-teen. Doesn't bear thinking about.

    Trinity
     
  16. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Glad you all liked the imagery of Wiz pooping a Volkswagon. It was the best way I could think of to describe "that" look.

    Yep. THAT one.
     
  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thanks Trinity. Sigh.

    I'm not sure my son has a "pooping a Volkswagen" look. I think it's more of a Charles Manson look. If he does it too much, I tell him to knock it off or I will hug and kiss him, which he generally hates. Hey, whatever works!!!
     
  18. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Our difficult child with AS literally could not smile on demand. He didn't grasp the concept of "peer unity" enough to even know why it would be important to others whether he did or did not smile. After eight years of living with us he "kinda" "gets it" and does try. He doesn't make ugly faces on purpose but it is rare that a picture reflects what his genuine smile looks
    like.

    AS is a challenge. The older I get the less I believe that these difficult child have the capability of complying with the social norm. Hugs. DDD
     
  19. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thanks.
    My son has lots of nice pictures where he's smiling. When I'm with-him, the problems rears it's ugly head.
    He could be Aspie-lite, like Trinity, with-ODD thrown in.
     
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