So, we think we know....

[flutterbee]

...why Devon's dad wanted him before Christmas this year.

It was just really odd. His dad is always pushing for more time with Devon. This year was my year to have Christmas with Devon. The way it has always worked in the past on those years, is that Devon goes down after Christmas and stays for a week. This year, at his dad's suggestion, Devon flew down Friday night and came home Christmas Eve morning. Not even 5 days when you look at how late he got in and how early he left.

We figured that they were going on vacation after Christmas and didn't want to take Devon. Wouldn't be the first time.

However, Christmas Eve night (after he was home), Devon was texting with his step-sister (the 19 year old they kicked out over the summer with no warning, took her car, she had no job, etc). Devon got a game and $100 for Christmas. Not bad. The youngest, 9, got a laptop, Wii games, Wii accessories, and on and on and on. They easily spent over $1,000 on her. K had the nerve to tell Devon that he would have done more for him, but that his company wasn't giving out bonuses this year. Devon found out Christmas day that his step-sister got a toaster oven and $50.

So, that's why they didn't want Devon there. It's not like they do things at certain ages. Devon's never gotten anything like that. And usually what he did get, he wasn't allowed to bring home - even though he's only down there 2 or 3 times a year. Devon called K on Christmas Day at K's request. K mentioned nothing about the little one and didn't have Devon talk to her like he normally does. He doesn't want Devon to know.

Devon has found out lately about so many things his dad has lied to him about. He's pretty much done with him. He did say he might call him next week to see if he is home. He's still thinking they might be going somewhere.

 

[JJJ]

What a horrible dad. I'm glad Devon has you and that he is seeing his dad's true colors.

 

[donna723]

Well, that just stinks! You spend the same amount on EVERY kid, no matter what!

My ex- was the same way. He once, at his new wifes' insistance, spent everything he had on her and his step-kids for Christmas and told his own son he'd have to wait till the next payday after Christmas for his! Then he bought him a cheap CD player that didn't even work! They went to return it and he exchanged it for an even cheaper model, kept the cash difference, and spent it on himself - right in front of our son! This is just reason #9584 why they don't have anything to do with him now!

 

[KTMom91]

Miss KT's birthday was in August. Useless Boy has not yet given her a birthday present. Christmas present? Nope, not yet.

 

[Hound dog]

Kids catch on to this type behavior quickly. Glad Devon sees his Dad for who he is. Although I'm sorry it's that way.

My Dad gave me his phone number for the 3rd time on xmas........Yup. Like I'm actually gonna call him. Funny how when you're 72 you suddenly want a close relationship with kids who were always an after thought when you were young. I'm nice, polite, and respectful when my brother calls me so I can talk to my Dad. But that's it. My Dad is who he is. I don't hate him for it. But I'm also not tripping over my feet to forge a relationship with him this late in the game either.

 

[flutterbee]

But, you know, the reason Devon doesn't have a close relationship with his dad is because I moved Devon 600 miles away. 14 years ago. When he wasn't even interested in seeing Devon and we lived only 12 miles apart.

by the way, they're always telling Devon how lazy he is - among other things. Devon called him on it when he was down there this time.

 

[donna723]

Yeah, kids catch on pretty darned quick! If they don't when they're younger, when they hit those teen years and start looking at the situation from a more adult viewpoint, it all adds up for them and they see it for what it is.

With my own son, he was well into his early 20's before he finally allowed himself to talk about it, about how much he resents the way his dad always treated him. He knows now the the fault was all his fathers. But what breaks my heart for him is knowing that he spent so many years blaming himself and thinking that it was because he wasn't worthy of his fathers love, that he wasn't good enough somehow, that he couldn't measure up no matter how hard he tried. Then maturity kicked in a little and he started looking at everything that happened as an adult, no longer as an intimidated little kid, and now he knows that he did the best he could, but his father is just a pathetic, cruel, abusive, selfish, self-centered *ss! But through it all, my son did OK because he had ME in his corner and he knew how much I loved him and that I would always be there for him. And now neither of the kids have anything to do with their father, don't even know where he is, and neither one sees it as much of a loss because they never really had a father anyway! He's going to become a grandfather in May and doesn't even know it. These things have a way of coming home to roost.