Gosh Helpless, this is the least of his worries. He would be better off, in my opinion, going it on his own, with the hope that he can one day make better decisions. What do people have to do to show him that they care? Clean up all of his messes? Handle all of the consequences of his ridiculous and destructive choices?
He relapsed. He took out a ridiculous 24k loan. He used part of it to buy a car, knowing full well he was unlicensed, the car was unregistered, and he had no insurance. He couldn't give a
. These things are all of them on him.
And then you go rebuke yourself, worrying he might think you don't care? This is not about you caring. This is about his caring about whether he is a decent human being, whether he has a decent life, is good to himself and to his family and to society in general. So far he could care less.
Honestly, helpless, I wish you could connect to your anger. This child of yours has violated basic decency, self-respect, respect for his mother, basic trust, and basic responsibility. I wish this would sink in. I think you feel guilty from years past, and you won't let yourself off the hook.
Until you can make peace with that I believe you will not be able to do the right thing for him now. And the right thing for him now is to see he is acting like a little drug-addicted thug. (I am so mad at him for sending you those pictures over and over again. And I am frustrated that you didn't call him on it. You don't deserve that degradation. I am just fuming here.) He is a man who is acting badly and making terrible choices. Over.and.over again. I am sorry helpless. If you don't want me to respond anymore to your posts, I won't. I like your boy a lot and I like you a lot, but I don't like what he is doing with all of his promise, capacity, and strength. So many of the kids here don't have 1/20th of the promise that he has. It is just such a shame.