Son home soon

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by mof, Aug 16, 2016.

  1. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    It will be in two short weeks that our son will return home to live with us. He is excited as we are to see him move on and continue his growth...and there is always the fear of the unknown.

    We have a therapist for him and us....she helped guide us to a great contract rule guide.

    Mtgs for him are in place....I feel like I'm prepping for a new baby..lol She said I'm his new case manager.

    He has huge family support....He well need to meet friends through mtgs, work etc.

    Any positive thoughts you an send our way would be great. It will be his 20th birthday.

    Blessings,
    Mof
     
  2. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Mof:

    So happy for you all. I hope that he is able to stay on track and get his life together. I only wish my son were on that path right now but he is still fighting it.

    Prayers for all of you! Please keep us posted.
     
  3. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    Sending many of them, mof! It is great that he has such wonderful support. Wishing him and you much success on this next step.
     
  4. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    I believe your so will keep fighting...and you will all solider on.

    Thank you, this isn't the end..but our next step...He may spend the weekend here per his counselor request.....but we are ready.

    I don't plan on going anywhere....I certainly will keep posting.!
     
  5. worried sick mother

    worried sick mother Active Member

    Mof,
    I'm sure rooting for your son and family. I hope you are posting great updates soon and always. Many blessings to you !!!
     
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  6. ColleenB

    ColleenB Active Member

    I'm happy for you mof ❤️ I truely hope you find the tools you will need for this next step in his journey. ( and yours)

    It sounds like you are preparing and I know you will have supports around you all.

    Please let us know how you make out, the ups and downs are all part of it and I hope you know I wish for you more ups than downs :)

    Take care, and don't forget that there are those of us here cheering you on.
     
  7. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Colleen,

    Thank you. I know there will be days better than others. I feel like I just got shoes to fit for the journey ahead.

    I'm here, none of us know the future and the hope and surprises it holds.

    Blessings
    Mof
     
  8. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    So, a twist, our son is coming home for 48 hrs before moving back

    We have spoken to his counselor and everything was positive except..always something...He still is having issues being drowsy. This ticks me off..he's a night owl taking his night medication too late. We have a contract ready....

    I guess it ticks me because when he works at 7 am...he's there no problem. She agrees he's young, but mature speaking, and seems to be working on the elements to be successful here.

    Otherwise he is so excited to see his dog and his brothers...and found out he will still have a continuing care mtg at the rehab .....which is great because the rehab center is in walking distance to our home...ironic really.

    Internalizing info
    Mof
     
  9. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    That is great that the rehab center is so close. I am envious that your son is so on board with this all so quickly!

    I only hope we have the same outcome someday.

    I continue to try to not get too high or too low by the things he does and stay rather neutral. It's easier for me that way. But it's not easy to do!!

    Hugs and positive thoughts.
     
  10. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    RN.

    How is your son? Is the new house a better fit for him? I pray it is. It's so hard to understand the immaturity...but I think of your son and think it will just take time. Time is a great gift we can give.

    I remember holding my delayed children back from kindergarten..a. normal practice now, but it was a gift that helped them be successful in school. Think that now we are giving the gift of more time to be an adult..

    I'm working on .managing any stress...so many people are routing for his success.

    Hugs
    Mof
     
  11. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Mof:

    I haven't heard much so that is good. My therapist said that I did the RIGHT thing when I told him to either stay where he was and do what they say OR go to a shelter. He found the new place on his own with his house manager's help but at least he did it.

    We do text but that's about it. His dad is leaving Wednesday to spend a few days with him for his 21st birthday. My son knows that I am seeing a therapist because of all he has put me through. Every other part of my life is good. I'm no longer going to shield him from the hurt he has caused me. I want him to feel that but he isn't ready to sadly.

    He did send me something on Facebook Friday that brought me to tears...it was a saying that ended with ......that he did not know what he would do without his mother's love.

    He knows that I love him and for now that's all there is. I'm just empty.

    But while my husband is away and I have the house to myself I'm having a girlfriends reunion at my house and having about ten girls over for food and drinks. Two of my friends will be in from California so they will be spending the night with me. I'm doing something for me and I'm really looking forward to a fun evening. Coincidentally it's on Friday which is my son's birthday but that was the only day that made sense to have it. I'm glad he will have some guy time with his father. Mommy can't fix this one.
     
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  12. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    RN,

    So happy you are going to have fun. No, we should not shield our pain or hurt. Honesty is our new motto...if he disappoints, we will say so. But we expect him to voice his thoughts too.

    No, We have done all we can, now they have to learn to use what is offered. Your son has so much more than others, love.

    Celebrate his birthday surrounded by people who care....have a great time.

    Peace to you, and safe travels to Dad.
    Mof
     
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    RN, your own recovery has been awesome. Kudos!!
     
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  14. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    So...no one has to read this but I need to unpack my weekend with boy visit.

    1- he is on so many medications...we have established a new psychiatrist here, for when he moves home...

    2- He is still a teenager in attitude. Some good behavior, and some being in the recovery bubble has not helped.

    3- we presented his home " boundary" contract. Some push back, but he signed...took copy. Back to discuss with his iop group.

    4- apparently when he renewed his drivers license, he listed his mental issues re s...so now the state wants proof he is in his right mind to drive! Ok...we won't let him anyhow til he earns it. But at this point I'm laughing .....

    5- now this is from his counselor..not me. They feel he is not a true opiate addict...WHAT? He has no cravings....He was heavily self medicating...and by whatever Grace isn't in jail for dealing. I know addicts do...but I can't handle the truth!!!

    6- I knew this...but he will never be the man we thought, this is just what it is.

    7- He admitted to loving weed, tho He understand s it's illegal, and not tolerated here. That is a slippery slope when he's on his own.

    8- We still support him coming home. He already got his old seasonal job back at the ice cream parlor...but better to look for a better job while working.

    So other than amazed at how much he eats...gained so much, not sure if medication thing. His love of piercings, which is a boundary for us. He was fun loving with his brothers, and respectful.

    We give thanks for his recovery and being sober. He agreed on a sponsor and finishing the steps. He never wants to do opiates again. He smokes, but only about 4 a day..?! He's seems to want to give out up so his teeth stay white...a teenager attitude....

    I know it could be worse. He will come on his 20th birthday, and another journey will begin. Ill call this one....man child 2.0.

    Thanks for letting me vent...mof
     
  15. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Mof:

    Sounds okay.....enough to remain cautiously optimistic. I agree the weed thing is a slippery slope.

    How long was he using before he went to rehab? You may have posted someplace but I missed it.

    Why do you say he'll never be the man you want him to be? I don't think you can know how he will be at this point in time do you?

    I agree, don't like a ton of medications either!!

    Great he got his old job back. Will he be working full time?

    Cigarettes are so disgusting I agree! Hopefully since he smokes so little he'll be able to kick the habit!

    Congrats to you and your family and I truly hope that this is the beginning of a new life for him!

    Hugs and prayers!
     
  16. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    RN,

    He smoked weed in high school. Years he told us...He was motivated and got good grades...so, we didn't know forever.

    He used heroine for about 2 months..some say his overdose saved him. He was clinically depressed. He was signed up, ( we had no idea) for a methadone treatment center...but he said wanting to end it all was strong, but knew he had to get off heroine.

    This astounds me, he confided in his math professor!!!

    I believe he is not on the best medication combo. 2100 milligrams of anything is crazy.

    I hate smoking..but when you have to pick battles....He agreed to vape..his brothers are embarrassed.

    Hmmm, the man comment...hard to see him mature, but the lip piercing..and talk of more tattoos. We told him while with us and getting any of our money, no body modifications...yup, let the freak flag fly!! Lol

    I'm truly trying to see some humor..

    No, ice cream isn't full time. He gets another part time, or better one job. He worked 3 in high school..so he can do it.

    Hope you have had a great weekend and no drama in Fla...
    Mof
     
  17. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Mof

    Two months isn't very long. How wonderful that he "saw the light" so quickly. Sounds like weed led up to it. I think it did for my son as well. I smoked tons of weed in high school and I don't think it's awful but for my son it is.

    That's why when he posts things about it on Facebook I get very angry.

    Yes, humor so important. Wow 2100 is a lot! What the heck.
     
  18. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    2100...and that's one of three medications...it's disturbing.

    I don't think I can do anything about the pot if he's on his own, but for now we can.

    I smoked in college...but grew up....
     
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