T
toughlovin
Guest
Hi all,
OK my son is a this new sober house which is the very strict place they go after detox. He seems to be doing fine as far as I can tell. The night he got there they gave $25 for food, then we added another $50. He he had left with no toiletries or anything so we agreed to give him a little more. So total he has had $100 for the week. The week is up tomorrow. Yesterday he texted me because he is running out of money.... I had gone online to get him a grocery card but he has not yet gotten it. I did not give him money yesterday figuring he would get the grocery card soon. So today he texted me, he has not gotten it yet. They tend to go to the store everyday... rather than stocking up for a week and he buys meat, veggies and a starch. My guess is he is hoping I will think that is healthy. LOL.
So of course it pulls at my heart strings a little as I want him to eat...... BUT I also really think he needs to learn to live on the $75 a week we are giving him for groceries.... that is so doable but of course his cigarette habit doesn't help his budgeting. He did say yesterday that he will be getting a job and then we won't have to give him much money.... BUT I have heard that many times before. Just as an aside it is true that while he is in the stricter program he can't get a job.
So I decided to call the house manager who is wonderful. I talked Occupational Therapist (OT) him about it. Decided that tomorrw a week is up and if he hasn't gotten the grocery card by then I can give him some then.... so I texted him and told him he needs to learn to live on the &75 a week, tomorrow is a week and if he hasn't gotten the card by then I will put some money into his account (which is controlled by the sober house not him).
I believe that is the right thing to do and fact is he can go hungry if he has to for one night. It won't kill him. My fear now though is that he will steal to get money and get thrown out again.... and yet i know my giving him grocery money so he doesn't do something stupid is just my continuing to try and protect him from himself... and really I need to NOT do that.
So logically I think I did the right thing... let him deal with it for a day for Goodness sakes... but I still feel a little guilty and a little worried.
I have kept my mouth shut about the cigarettes... but he is going to have to figure out it may be a trade off between smoking and eating.
TL
OK my son is a this new sober house which is the very strict place they go after detox. He seems to be doing fine as far as I can tell. The night he got there they gave $25 for food, then we added another $50. He he had left with no toiletries or anything so we agreed to give him a little more. So total he has had $100 for the week. The week is up tomorrow. Yesterday he texted me because he is running out of money.... I had gone online to get him a grocery card but he has not yet gotten it. I did not give him money yesterday figuring he would get the grocery card soon. So today he texted me, he has not gotten it yet. They tend to go to the store everyday... rather than stocking up for a week and he buys meat, veggies and a starch. My guess is he is hoping I will think that is healthy. LOL.
So of course it pulls at my heart strings a little as I want him to eat...... BUT I also really think he needs to learn to live on the $75 a week we are giving him for groceries.... that is so doable but of course his cigarette habit doesn't help his budgeting. He did say yesterday that he will be getting a job and then we won't have to give him much money.... BUT I have heard that many times before. Just as an aside it is true that while he is in the stricter program he can't get a job.
So I decided to call the house manager who is wonderful. I talked Occupational Therapist (OT) him about it. Decided that tomorrw a week is up and if he hasn't gotten the grocery card by then I can give him some then.... so I texted him and told him he needs to learn to live on the &75 a week, tomorrow is a week and if he hasn't gotten the card by then I will put some money into his account (which is controlled by the sober house not him).
I believe that is the right thing to do and fact is he can go hungry if he has to for one night. It won't kill him. My fear now though is that he will steal to get money and get thrown out again.... and yet i know my giving him grocery money so he doesn't do something stupid is just my continuing to try and protect him from himself... and really I need to NOT do that.
So logically I think I did the right thing... let him deal with it for a day for Goodness sakes... but I still feel a little guilty and a little worried.
I have kept my mouth shut about the cigarettes... but he is going to have to figure out it may be a trade off between smoking and eating.
TL