Are you kidding me? Just hang one of those cell-phone mouth pieces on your ear and yak away! I'll bet H will be on her cloud laughing her backside off seeing you do it!
Exactly!!! I should do that anyway as I talk to myself quite a bit when I'm driving.
I'm glad to hear your day went well. And I do agree with the others. Talk to H, write your conversations to her in a journal.....whatever. Don't bottle it up. I know you said you can't deal with the grief right now but this may be an easier (if there is such a thing) way of at least starting the process. Do it in the car when you're driving. Or if you think that might not be safe, go home, run a bath, light a few candles and spend some time in the tub and talk to her.
It doesn't come CLOSE to losing a sister but when I was 18, a guy I dated off and on for 2 years died in a car accident. (We never really broke up, just never made it an "official" relationship....long story) By that time, I had lost a grandmother and a family friend but that had been when I was younger. His death hit me sooooooooo hard and it's not like you're not emotional anyway when you're that age. I used to talk to him all the time and write him letters. Twenty years and a husband and son later, I find that every now and then, I still do it. (Does that make me a perv for still having the hots for a 19 year old???
)
I guess my point is that you can and should still talk to her. If you think doing so might cause you to break down, scream, shout, curse and cry.........take a drive and find a nice secluded place out in the country and let loose.
Glad getting back to work helped. We're here for you. {{{{Hugs}}}}