This whole exchange saddens me. It is NOT a general topic. It is NOT about what Onyxx or Jett has done. It is what their BM has done to Step, her husband and the entire family. As such, I think it belongs here on watercooler.
I agree that using derogatory terms for relatives is not OK. But, given past explanations that the kids think batcave is not derogatory, and given that MANY here refer to birth moms as bm or BM and NO ONE has told them not to, well, that is just unfair. It reminds me of when I used to call Wiz "monster'. It was NOT because I thought he was a monster. It was because he had this mercer Mayer book that was Little Monster's Word Book. Heck, at 17 he still HAS the book on his bookshelf. It was NOT a derogatory term, and while Step despises what BM has done and continues to do to her children, she does not use words that will hurt them.
Many here have posted about what their children's step parents do that they despise. Shari posts about her ex's new girlfriend and how crazy she is. The girlfriend has not done nearly what Step's children's birthmother has done to hurt them.
No one has complained about Shari's use of one broom, two brooms, etcc, or even Crazy girlfriend, which is the latest term she used.
I think maybe some need to step back and ignore what upsets them, rather than trying to bully Step simply because she is a stepmom and not the birthmom. We should SUPPORT Step because she took on this man and his children and has truly taken the kids to her heart. She truly loves those kids and is willing to do whatever she can to help keep them safe and healthy. She isn't asking for the birthmother to disappear. She just wants the birthmother to quit hurting and threatening to hurt the children.
Maybe she is more zealous than some want to see, maybe you think she is stepping on toes. Frankly, I am impressed at the lengths she has gone to in order to find LEGAL ways to protect the kids. In a situation that is clearly dangerous she puts herself out there to block harm to these kids.
In the same situation, with a father and girlfriend doing what the birth mother and boyfriend are doing, many here would counsel Step to do whatever she needed to.
I HATE the idea that Step cannot come here for support. This is not the safe place I thought it was, not if we greet a step mom with this degree of anger. If she stepped on toes, I know she is sorry. Some of your reactions have confused her.
I hope she knows she can PM me for support, and I intend to give her my email since she clearly cannot vent here, much less find ideas to help.