Still not a lot of info...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by toughlovin, Oct 12, 2011.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Hi all,

    Well I thought I should update although I don't have much info. I have been kind of stewing about how my son is doing and the lack of information. My husband had called and said i was on the release and so I called on Monday and completely got the run around... I guess the first therapist he had last day was that Friday..... so we still had no info. I finally left a teary voiced message for someone and got a call back... however it was clear he had still not signed a release so she couldn't talk to me either.

    So my husband called her and we found out my son had moved from the detox unit which is good. And husband talked to his new therapist yesterday, she was going to meet with him and check on the releases... he needs to sign some for his lawyer for his legal case. She said she would call me today and she didn't. Sigh.

    We also went to Alanon last night which really helped me somehow. Back to the serenity prayer. I am at more peace about it now. husband is sending the therpaist an email. I just want to know if he is purposely leaving me off the release. If he is then I know he is making a statement to me that this is his journey and he needs to do it alone and I can respect that. So I am in the process of trying to let it all go... and I did have an easier day today focused on other things.

    And at least I know where he is and he is safe. That is huge I know.

  2. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    {{hugs}} I know that if you are *not* on the release -it will sting like a bazillion angry bees. I would feel rejected- It's valid to feel hurt.

    But I am glad you are focusing on the positive-because in reality-it is POSITIVE! So much good news in your post. He moved forward from detox, your H is on the release-and in the loop-and you found peace thru al-anon and had a good day.

    I get too emotionally involved in my difficult child's weaknesses and mistakes and instead of pushing back -he pushes further away. My h swears it's because disappointing me is worse than letting himself down. Regardless, he pushes away-so I chase him and/or check up on him. Which doesn't help. Cycle of insanity.

    He's in a safe place, has therapists & experts to help him and has chosen your husband-a man you both love and trust - as "middle man." Win-Win!!!
  3. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    You sound well and at peace. I am glad that the meetings helped you. Life goes one even when our difficult children are down and out. We do not have to live their trauma with them but as parents it is hard to learn that. You seem to be well on your way to that realizaation. May you continue to find peace within the chaos of your life. -RM
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I learned early on that my bipolar seemed to cycle when Cory's did. Almost like when a group of women spend time together for a length of time, their periods get into sync. When Cory would start off on one of his tangents, my cycles would start to go up and down like clock work. He didnt the huge highs and lows that I did which is why I am convinced he had the temper dysregulation disorder. He would go off in these bouts of anger and have fits, then would be impulsive as hell and do things that were dangerous to his own well being and then when he came down he would be pretty gloomy for awhile after he figured out he had screwed up. Meanwhile I was chasing rainbows trying to make things all better. I would cycle 4 or 5 times a day and then suddenly everything was just peachy for Cory and I was left in the dust all upset.

    I learned to avoid this.
  5. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    Whether he signs the release or not.... your above statement is so true! Focus on that part of all of this. It's so hard not to jump in with both feet to help our children, especially when it looks like they are making a step in the right direction.

    We tried it with Ant and it blew up in our faces.

    Steph on the other hand, is doing it all on her own! (not knocking but pounding on wood to keep the board curse away)....she's doing g##% (can't even type the word for fear of the curse) but you get the idea. She doesn't even want any help, not even a little gas money. So, we are sitting back and letting her find her way through life. Without anyone interferring, she's on the right path. And she's proud of herself. First time EVER!!

    So, sit back. Love him with all your heart. And keep saying the serenity prayer.