mumfromdownunder
New Member
Hi everyone, I posted before Christmas as I was struggling with the fact that I decided I would not be seeing my son.
I sent him an EGift card for a Supermarket chain here and also paid a rather expensive Phone bill of his. I text him on Christmas day and told him I loved him very much and wished him a Merry Christmas, to which he replied: “I love you too mum & Merry Christmas” and “I am Sorry.
1 week after Christmas I started receiving texts from him and some missed calls – one he was asking me for his bankcard – I replied saying I didn’t have his bankcard??
1 week after this he is sent through photos of 2 bills (no explanation) – one for a debt of $3,000 he apparently owed because he reversed into a car and did not have any insurance. The second bill was for an ambulance call out that was in my son’s name which happened on Boxing Day. I naturally asked what the ambulance call out was for, his reply was: “Suicidal & drugs, off them now, had a catheter in my d*** to Pi** it was at Christmas. Ive been working since still sober don’t even smoke week and now vaping with nicotine. Been stressin hard about money, tryna get food off dad was eating beef noodles & couldn’t sh*t for a 3 days. I replied (overlooking his language and utter repect of me) saying that I could organise payment for the ambulance ($949) luckily he is still on my health insurance policy and this was covered. As for the $3000 bill, I told him now that he was working he could phone the company and organise some sort of payment plan with them to avoid further action. He responded with “thanks heaps mum” and then proceeded to send me photos of himself with a dog that he acquired that day (in the background of the photos which were taken in his room where bongs???) I told him that animals need care and they costs money which he would have to factor into his budget (geeez).
Fast forward a month later and I have received several texts again asking for money or for me to pay bills etc to which I have replied “No”. The latest text he is asking me (if he has to) could I store some things at my house and look after his dog. I love animals and have a dog myself but I would not be able to have another dog at my house.
I am really trying here – it has been a long 4 years on this journey/rollercoaster and the last year in particular because I have been trying to detach (not see him). I don’t know if I am doing the right thing – I am all over the place. I struggled when I saw the ambulance bill as he has always threatened suicide as a manipulation to get something from me (was this because I did not see him for Christmas?) or just a lot of partying over Christmas. I have so many questions but do not want to engage too much with him as I just cannot handle the drama. I struggle with not seeing him but the thought of doing so gives me so much anxiety. When I receive a text from him I instantly get anxious and feel sick. If I talk to him on the phone I don’t do very well as he manipulates me – I would love to be able to visit him, have a coffee/\or a meal and catch up, like normal people (this is actually a dream of mine).
Thanks for listening
I sent him an EGift card for a Supermarket chain here and also paid a rather expensive Phone bill of his. I text him on Christmas day and told him I loved him very much and wished him a Merry Christmas, to which he replied: “I love you too mum & Merry Christmas” and “I am Sorry.
1 week after Christmas I started receiving texts from him and some missed calls – one he was asking me for his bankcard – I replied saying I didn’t have his bankcard??
1 week after this he is sent through photos of 2 bills (no explanation) – one for a debt of $3,000 he apparently owed because he reversed into a car and did not have any insurance. The second bill was for an ambulance call out that was in my son’s name which happened on Boxing Day. I naturally asked what the ambulance call out was for, his reply was: “Suicidal & drugs, off them now, had a catheter in my d*** to Pi** it was at Christmas. Ive been working since still sober don’t even smoke week and now vaping with nicotine. Been stressin hard about money, tryna get food off dad was eating beef noodles & couldn’t sh*t for a 3 days. I replied (overlooking his language and utter repect of me) saying that I could organise payment for the ambulance ($949) luckily he is still on my health insurance policy and this was covered. As for the $3000 bill, I told him now that he was working he could phone the company and organise some sort of payment plan with them to avoid further action. He responded with “thanks heaps mum” and then proceeded to send me photos of himself with a dog that he acquired that day (in the background of the photos which were taken in his room where bongs???) I told him that animals need care and they costs money which he would have to factor into his budget (geeez).
Fast forward a month later and I have received several texts again asking for money or for me to pay bills etc to which I have replied “No”. The latest text he is asking me (if he has to) could I store some things at my house and look after his dog. I love animals and have a dog myself but I would not be able to have another dog at my house.
I am really trying here – it has been a long 4 years on this journey/rollercoaster and the last year in particular because I have been trying to detach (not see him). I don’t know if I am doing the right thing – I am all over the place. I struggled when I saw the ambulance bill as he has always threatened suicide as a manipulation to get something from me (was this because I did not see him for Christmas?) or just a lot of partying over Christmas. I have so many questions but do not want to engage too much with him as I just cannot handle the drama. I struggle with not seeing him but the thought of doing so gives me so much anxiety. When I receive a text from him I instantly get anxious and feel sick. If I talk to him on the phone I don’t do very well as he manipulates me – I would love to be able to visit him, have a coffee/\or a meal and catch up, like normal people (this is actually a dream of mine).
Thanks for listening