Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Cat63, Jul 9, 2007.

  1. Cat63

    Cat63 New Member

    I have taken my 13yrd old to counselors who think he should be medicated. So I take him to an MD to get ok for medications & bascially dr tells my son he's a leech & should probably be sent to Idaho Youth Ranch for delinquent teens.
    My son sees no prpblem with cussing us out every time he"s told no, not obeying any of our rules. I've taken away all his toys yet i know when i'm not home he just disobeys me anyway. I do not know where to turn i am ready to leave & run far far away....
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    There have been many times I have felt like running far far away. Have you taken your son to a child psychiatrist? Has he had an evaluation by a Neuro-psychologist?

    Just my opinion, but I wouldn't give out a consequence I can't enforce. If my son loses a privilege I make sure it is at a time I'm home to be sure I can follow through.

    One book that might help is The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. It really helped me to better understand my son and helped me to prioritize and choose my battles.

    I'm sorry things are rough right now-remember you are not alone and we are here for you.
  3. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! Sharon's right: Ross Greene wrote a really good read with The Explosive Child! Don't run away! They always find you.

    What an insightful doctor that would tell a 13 year old that they're a leech - wow - all that time in medication school to come up with such a thorough diagnosis! NOT!

    Everyone on here recommends a neuropsyche evaluation. We're still waiting for an appointment. It should really allow us some assistance as far as future treatments. Does he have a real diagnosis such as ODD, ADHD, etc.? What would they be madicating for?

    Just hang in there...the people on this sight are so incredibly supportive as well as knowledgable that you'll know that you've got some truly intelligent, classy company out there!!


  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Cat63, I went back to see your other post and I am sorry you only got one response. I think it is because we need more info.

    First a profile is helpful so people can get a quick glance at sort of a summary of your family and difficult child.

    So, you have a 13 year old son that is defiant and refuses treatment (medications and counseling). You mentioned depression in your first post - I assume this was from a psychiatrist?

    How long has your son been this way?
    Is there a man in the house and does he treat him the same?
    How does he do in school?
    Is there any adult he connects with/respects?
    A leech, huh? Did you ask the doctor to define that one?

    So the doctor just thinks he is a 'bad' kid, huh? Even though he has depression? I am a firm believer that most kids do WANT to be good kids. Some are not capable without interventions.

    Parenting a teen is hard - but parenting a difficult child (and then add on teen angst) is something non of us could have even imagined. What are you doing for yourself? You have to take care of you. Do you get time away?
  5. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Hi Cat & welcome.

    You been asked a lot of questions and given some good advice. I'm sorry you have to be here but at least you aren't alone any longer.
  6. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Hi Cat

    The terrible twos can't hold a candle to the terrible teens in my opinion. For some reason, puberty just magnifies a difficult child's problems.

    Neurological disorders such as depression, ADHD, anxiety, bipolar, learning disorders, etc. tend to be very genetic. If you haven't found the Parent Report info on the FAQ Board, you might want to prepare such a report and have your child reevaluated.

    If your difficult child is having academic or behavioral problems in school, post to the Special Education forum. That forum is designed to help parents learn to work with school districts to get service the child needs.

  7. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    hi and welcome. perhaps your son is depressed. does he have any interests?
  8. Martie

    Martie Moderator

    I'm sorry your son is acting this way. I second the idea that opposition in young adolescent boys can be caused by depression and is a mental illness, not "badness."

    I hope you can get some help--everyone wants to run away now and then, few do, but it is a "popular" fantasy on this site.

  9. Cat63

    Cat63 New Member

    Ive read the book however my son's attitude does not seem to change. Right now my son feels he has the right to cuss us out everytime he speaks to us especially in front of his friends. i have taken away his phone, music, clothing ..if I try and make him stay in his room he pushes, shoves hits & leaves, if I ask Him to take a shower he sits in the bathroom then comes out with a towel & dry dirty hair claiming he's taken a shower & refuses to concede. He's currently at home this summer with his 70 yr old grandmother being bored. I do not know what to do with him & am afraid if this attitide contines much longer one of us is going to be arrested for abuse. Where can I send a teenager for the day without going to rehab Center that all tell me the cost is $450 a day with a 30 day min stay? I do not have $20,000 to spend for a mo of rehab...
  10. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member

    You can get respite where your difficult child goes for the weekend or a few days. We did this when we lived in St. Louis. It gave everyone a much-needed break, including difficult child. It didn't cost us anything, but we had to fill out a lot of forms and he qualified based on his behavior and his diagnosis of ADHD/ODD. It was through our state's department of mental health.

    First, you'll probably have to have a diagnosis from a psychologist or psychologist. Who diagnosed the ODD?