Hello all--
I don't know who else to share this with....but you are probably among the few who could understand, so here goes:
I am an artist....and a pretty good one, too.
BUT I am also the parent of a difficult child who can get really out of control. And as you all know, I am living in a house with surveillance cameras and bars on the windows and locks on the doors. We see tdocs once a week, and now parenting classes once a week....and craziness all the time.
And since difficult child has been out of psychiatric hospital....I just can't seem to get myself "back on track" creatively....which has a direct impact on my ability to generate income from my work. I have been trying to tell myself that it's just a matter of "refreshing" my career goals....
but the truth is--in the face of all of this carp going on in my family, the ability to draw sure seems useless....
and it's very hard to set a goal like "Create a new, original painting each week"....when I'm also working on the goal of "Keep my daughter out of jail" and "Keep my daughter from engaging in dangerous and risky behaviors".
I don't understand why my only God-given skill set lies in the artistic arena...while all of my challenges fall in the mental health, education, communication, and health/human services areas.
I'm just not equipped....and yet to pursue the career goals for which I seem most suited just seems silly and selfish.
Do any of you ever struggle with this? How do you handle it?
(And please don't tell me that God only gives me what I can handle--He's obviously teasing me or joking around or something and I just don't get it.)
Thanks.
--DaisyF
I don't know who else to share this with....but you are probably among the few who could understand, so here goes:
I am an artist....and a pretty good one, too.
BUT I am also the parent of a difficult child who can get really out of control. And as you all know, I am living in a house with surveillance cameras and bars on the windows and locks on the doors. We see tdocs once a week, and now parenting classes once a week....and craziness all the time.
And since difficult child has been out of psychiatric hospital....I just can't seem to get myself "back on track" creatively....which has a direct impact on my ability to generate income from my work. I have been trying to tell myself that it's just a matter of "refreshing" my career goals....
but the truth is--in the face of all of this carp going on in my family, the ability to draw sure seems useless....
and it's very hard to set a goal like "Create a new, original painting each week"....when I'm also working on the goal of "Keep my daughter out of jail" and "Keep my daughter from engaging in dangerous and risky behaviors".
I don't understand why my only God-given skill set lies in the artistic arena...while all of my challenges fall in the mental health, education, communication, and health/human services areas.
I'm just not equipped....and yet to pursue the career goals for which I seem most suited just seems silly and selfish.
Do any of you ever struggle with this? How do you handle it?
(And please don't tell me that God only gives me what I can handle--He's obviously teasing me or joking around or something and I just don't get it.)
Thanks.
--DaisyF