First, last night I didn't change Q's patches which is fine, we have done that many times, can change them the next day b/4 school...doctor says there is really a couple of days worth of medication left in the patch so I never do a power struggle over night vs. morning. But maybe with the growth or this particular patch or whatever... he woke up ugly. Was so blurty and no to everything...more than the usual morning stuff so I had to lock the door and cancel the bus which is a risk because I knew he would escalate until he accepted it. I gave his clonidine boost which I have been told to do when I change in the day. He had been kicking doors, screaming etc. So I could not risk his getting on a bus to school. I told him when he calmed he could go and he did calm. He was at school not later than an hour after it started. so, on the way there he said that there was a school store set up and if he could really do an amazing job today could he please have a few dollars and he would EVEN MISS THE BUS (LOL) and I could drive him to make sure he got there so he could see what they had. Honestly it is probably nothing...trinkets, pencils etc... but Q hears the announcements at school and thinks he has to do everything they mention even if it has nothing to do with him, he gets so worried about missing out. I said I thought that was an amazing idea and I would be looking forward to hearing how the day went! Well, I didn't get a call yesterday but Q admitted he had some hard times during the day (it is so weird that I am not getting the emails and communication about this... I tell you guys that it is anxiety provoking but obviously it is necessary anyway ... I need to know what is going on... so I like to think that means nothing happened but of course then I find out that he had grabbed the teacher's arm and that ucky psychiatric had to come down to get him out of the room... anyway.... So, she said wow, today was a total turn around from yesterday. He finished work and even asked if he could do some algebra that he saw other kids doing (he has never done anything close to that) so she said sure and they got two little problems done, got to introduce the concepts and it lasted for 35 minutes of work in the classroom by the way (no kids were there though, lol) She said she whispers to him a lot thru the fm system and she said, if you can stay in green you can... and he whispered back to her.. OK... She said they didnt' even once have to call anyone to come and escort him out of the room. So, probably a combination of things but interesting..... 1. he got the clonidine boost so as I have thought for months... if we could only safely increase what we know works for him every time we get into this situation (growing and medications not working as well) then that would probably solve so many problems...sigh 2. I put my foot down and followed thru logically, you must use your tools to calm, you must show me you are picking a tool (He has a paper full of them that I use to show him choices) or it is not safe to go in the car much less the bus... so he did the breathing and worked hard to calm down... 3. the trainer does seem to help when he is in a good place, he gets much more work done and seems to show higher comprehension. 4. he had a huge thing he wanted and was willing to work for?? sometimes that backfires because he gets to anxious and if something uncontrollable happens he feels he has blown it and then goes off the deep end. so not sure we can do this often but once in a while, esp. when he is the one who is promoting the idea (is that collaborative enough?? LOL) so I am really happy for him, I know it is still a work in progress but there are signs that if we could pull things together more he could make progress and if I can be on my game I can support him better.... I do catch many mistakes and get buried in things at times when i am just pushed and pushed.... Unfortunately he was home today when teacher called. SO, as per his pattern, though he came home great after a great day... he started to kick off. tell them I am sick of doing baby work and that it doesn't matter what you say I can do eighth grade work. Mrs TA told me that the work that I do there is work you specifically say I have to do. HUH?? I said I have nothing to do with the books, worksheets or anything. ( I wonder if she said that I was part of making the goals or something? he doesn't understand the iep stuff and how we do it so maybe he misunderstood??) So, I got off the phone quickly. Tried to tell him I have never had a choice in the work (we HAVE had conversations about first you do this level work then you get to go to the next level etc. those kinds of talks all in an effort to reach some goal he states he wants... like driving a car ... have to read, have to memorize things, have to follow rules, have to pass a test etc.) But I quickly ended the whole thing because he was stuck. I said he could just ask the teacher tomorrow. And he said if he asks her and finds out it is all me then I am in big trouble. WELL, OK then. ugggg I emailed the teacher and filled her in and then asked her to take me out of it and dont try to explain the process or anything.... Just a simple first you do this then you get to do that. I am sure she will do that, she really does do most things kindly and gets him in terms of that kind of stuff. Poor Q just thinks he is so RIGHT. He was really upset. So, the day was interesting. good parts, great parts, weird thought parts, frustrating parts... Well, normal life in the DQ home I guess.