Sweet Pea

[Ktllc]

I have been going back and forth with my concerns with Sweet Pea.
There are SO many similarities with V. The main difference: V was highly verbal at her age and she is obviously not.
She can sometimes be so sweet, but she also has such tantrums.
I have been wondering a lot about whether she could be on the spectrum.
She has been receiving therapy since she was 15 month old and has great play skill. She has good one on one attention and will play pretend sponteanously (the boys never did that).
But she will often line up her toys and be very particular with the way should be done.
She is slowly going through a "blue" phase, etc...
A lot of it seems like deja vue. She is very stuck on me and will stare at people without saying a sound.
On the other hand, she is very animated with people she knows.
I was wondering if a child with good pretend play could be on the spectrum.
She is not aloof and does not space out.
I have one regular child (Partner) and one special child (v). She is definitely a lot like V but of course is her own person.
husband won't really discuss it. All he says is "she'll be fine". I know that, it's not my point.

 

[BusynMember]

Well...she has so many classic symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)...even if she can pretend play, I'd take her to neuropsychologist. No Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) child has EVERY symptom. Lining up toys is classic. Fixating on a color or item is classic. Not speaking is classic. My own Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) son was very animated and friendly with the family...that doesn't mean anything either, except that if she is Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), she is higher functioning. Sonic didn't shy away from children either. He would run around and laugh when the other boys followed him. His diagnosis. was Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified WHEN he finally got dxd. Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified (atypical autism). He is doing quite well as a young adult, but he had A LOT of early intervention.

Good luck

 

[TeDo]

I think you have the right to be concerned. Both my kids did well with pretend play but it was usually based somewhat on cartoons they had seen somewhere. They didn't create their OWN characters or scenarios. difficult child 1 is still pretty attached to me, which in his case is understandable. He does awesome with people he knows well but ignores people he doesn't know .... unless they are with someone he knows well. That helps a LITTLE.

It sounds like this might be something you're not going to be able to really discuss with husband until Sweet Pea is older and the differences become more noticeable. But, then again, didn't husband have his head in the sand about V too or am I thinking of someone else.

I hope you're keeping a journal. Patterns will become clearer as time goes on. The likelihood that she is on the spectrum is quite high. {{{HUGS}}}

 

[buddy]

Happily she has you and therapy. Unlike V, her lack of speech could get her school services even now. Add the other symptoms and you might get speech and teaching both depending how your district works. Has she had an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation to check for any sensory processing disorder (SPD)---do you have any worries that could be part of the tantrums? It's likely the school folks come to your home till age 3 at least.

At her age the tantrum stuff is compounded by typical development so its frustrating if your gut says its more than toddler tantrums. What do you see triggers them? Communication frustration? Sensory? Transition? Fatigue? All of it?

 

[Ktllc]

I did talk about the tantrums to her service coordinator and therapists and they actually all agree it is beyond normal 2 year old tantrum.
Frustration, fatigue, hunger and all of the other will create a tantrum. But often, her look simply change without apparent triger and then everything goes south real fast.
I do see sensory issues (refused her infant car-seat, is just now getting better about car rides, difficulty falling asleep, almost always wakes up crying, sensitivities to her feet, vestibular sensitivities, very sensitive to temperature of bath water, can't stand the sun in her eyes, etc...) I do think it is under control though. In the sense that the whole family has learned through V and we naturally adjust to sensory processing disorder (SPD).
Sweet Pea was evaluated by an Occupational Therapist (OT) who focused on on fine and gross motor skills and then simply did a sensory questionaire. Not thorough enough to actualy detect sensory processing disorder (SPD). Her playtherapist had warned me that this Occupational Therapist (OT) was not trained in sensory processing disorder (SPD). I did not persue another evaluation because I believe things are manageable.
I did try to ask husband what he thinks last night, and after I convinced him that "I'm not worried, just wondering". He said: " from the very little bit I know about Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), yes she definitely has some. All of our kids actually". And then he asked me AGAIN not to worry! I promiss I'm not worried. I told him that I was fine, but if there is some Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) in the mix, maybe it would explain why she is so slow progressing in her expressive language. Maybe there would be an approach more efficient if we knew she is on the spectrum? I don't know.
I guess I'm always brainstorming.
As far as pretend play, she is only 2. I think it is good for her age as she pretends to rock her babies, feeds them, pretends to cook with her dinning set. And then there is also some lining up (not compulsive though), and repetitive play (all babies have to be face down and covered with- a piece of clothe. It has been going for well over a year. when she lays them down, I don't touch them otherwise she gets highly annoyed and will put the back the right way).
We will start the transition to preschool services in a couple month (6 months before she turns 3). I know who will be coming to see her: the same person who completly over looked V's issues and poo-pooed me. GRRR. I'm afraid I might not have a whole lot of patience with her... I'll have to take deep breaths.

 

[buddy]

Oh yuck, was hoping she was young enough it was a different team! I think it's kind of sweet that husband accepts there are concerns but it is what it is....

That doesn't sound like denial as much as he loves them as they are and probably is pretty comfortable knowing you won't let things fall through the cracks! Maybe protective of your heart too?

But of course we worry to a degree. There's a difference between normal worry/concern and awfulizing a situation. I do think if her speech delay is language based that use of PECS could be helpful because you said signs work for her except that it doesn't seem they are fluent and able to teach all of you to use the level of language she may be ready for.
So wish you had other options for therapists!
Can you get her on the evaluation list for the center v went to?

 

[Ktllc]

I have thought of contacting the university center. I just don't know if I'm ready for the whole evaluation process again. I do keep in mind there is a long waiting list and by the time she is seen (providing her file raises enough red flags to actually be seen) things will have changed so much and it could go either way: more traits or less traits.
I talked to V's Occupational Therapist (OT) as I really trust her and I know she won't try to guess. She said that everything is possible (specially after meeting V lol) and then mentioned the yearly Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) conference in our nearby city: part is about "autism grows up" and there is also a speaker who will talk about "autism in pinK" meaning girls with autism.
I think I will go to learn a bit more on the topic and maybe network and make some connection.

 

[buddy]

That sounds like a great idea!

 

[InsaneCdn]

I think it's something like 4 boys to 1 girl with autism/Aspie. Wider than the spread on ADHD, and even with ADHD, girls get missed way too often, because they present differently. That "autism in pink" presentation could be very interesting.

 

[TeDo]

It sounds like you have a plan .... and a good one at that. As long as you see it, know enough about it, and can manage life around it, you're ahead of the game. At that age, I'm sure she's extremely frustrated about not being able to communicate to the level she really wants to. That is such a talkative age that it must be about killing her.

I'm glad husband sees the problems and isn't shooting you down. You're not alone with this. That's a good thing. I know you want what's best for the kids and the responsibility falls on your shoulders. That is huge. I'm just glad husband isn't fighting you about any of it. Maybe it seems like you ARE worrying instead of just wondering. It is what it is and you know what it is and you know how to work with it. You're doing an awesome job.

 

[DammitJanet]

I think its amazing that she has the ability to do all the pretend play you are talking about at such a young age now and you say she has been doing it for a long time. Keyana always was a "little mama" with her dolls but had a real hard time understanding how to do her first doll house at 18 months unless I was right there with her. She did do tea sometimes and would push cars. Im not noticing a whole lot of pretend play out of Kenzie other than pushing a stroller at the moment but then again she is wide open.