We allow this, but only with our kids.
I was brought up teetotal. Methodist. My Sunday School teacher was a tubthumper for Womens Temperance Union (for whom "temperance" = "abstinence"). My family, those who drank, mostly drank beer which I hated the smell of (what sort of Aussie does that make me?)
husband was brought up to have a healthy respect for alcohol. He introduced me to the stuff and was generally always around to ensure I was being responsible and not getting taken advantage of. But I was late to it and a total innocent. For a while I tried whatever would pour. I still shudder to think of some of the ghastly vinegar masquerading as wine which I insulted my liver with. Kanga Rouge and Bondi Bleach. I've had my drink spiked a lot of times, with extra alcohol. This is now treated as assault in Australia. Lucky for me, I found I have a head for alcohol. I can SEEM to be sober even after I've been drinking. (long story - another time). But these days for a wide range of reasons including medical, I choose to not drink. Occasionally I'll have a sip of something, or even as much as half a glass of wine if it's a really good one. I have learnt to recognise a good wine but I'm happy to sit with my glass of water while others enjoy a drink around me.
So our kids were raised differently from me. While I didn't want them to be drunken sots, I didn't want them in danger from their own inexperience, either.
So from about ten years old (I hear the gasps) we have encouraged our children to have A TASTE (as in a SIP) of a GOOD wine on those occasions when we have been having wine with a meal. We have taught them to appreciate the quality of a good wine or other alcoholic beverage. And by regularly letting them taste at home, we also got to know their likes and dislikes. This is very useful knowledge. We take them to wine tastings as soon as they are legally old enough (18, in our country). The younger ones get to taste the wine we bring home, but only a taste. We also teach them about WHY a wine is good, or not so good.
The other aim - we used our knowledge of their tastes, to indoctrinate them into a taste for EXPENSIVE QUALITY. As a result, when away from home at a party and all around them are drinking cheap rubbish, our kids will not be able to AFFORD to over-indulge in anything they are prepared to drink. It's like acquiring a taste for the finest Belgian dark chocolate when you're on a diet - you'll never touch cheap compounded milk chocolate again.
And the results? easy child never overindulged. She enjoys a glass of wine now and then, will occasionally have a cocktail or mixed drink, and loves the family favourite - good Tasmanian cider - but has never been a problem.
difficult child 1 - at about 19-20 went through a short phase of drinking A LITTLE more than was good for him but was never really drunk. He tried to acquire a taste for drinks he could afford but has given up.
easy child 2/difficult child 2 is the biggest problem - from about 18 for the next two years, she grabbed every opportunity away from home to drink too much. I do wonder if we made this worse by trying to curb her drinking TOO much at home. I think she just needed to find her own levels and it was one of those things that had to happen. It never happens now. BF2 when he first moved in would go out with his friends and ALWAYS drink too much (usually bourbon) and end up being sick everywhere - I think he's now sensitised himself to bourbon so he will now feel sick every time he touches it. And easy child 2/difficult child 2 will not drink with him past a certain point, I think she has now learned her limits for herself.
One special mention - a lot of drinks, especially mixed drinks sold in cans, are cheap rubbish with lots of sugar aimed at the teen market (even though the various companies insist they are not directing their marketing to kids - liars). So the kids still do occasionally buy vodka and orange in tins, which is an expensive and unpalatable way to drink vodka. It's vodka with orange-flavoured soft drink.
So (after legal drinking age) we showed the kids how to make (and enjoy) a TRUE vodka and orange - keep the vodka in the freezer (the high alcohol content means it will not freeze) and add the freshly squeezed juice of an orange, with a dash of soda water. The icy vodka chills the room temperature juice down to a lovely cold drink. The effort of squeezing your own orange means you can't down four of these in a row. Plus you need to be sober to manage the juicer.
Another drink I taught them - make a short drink with a shot of vodka, the juice of a lime and a teaspoon of castor sugar. Mix it thoroughly and put it in the freezer. Two hours later, get it out and enjoy the slurry.
It takes two hours to prepare this. Drink it too fast and it's another two hours until your next drink.
But this means that the next time the kids pick up a cheap and nasty ready-mixed drink, they will remember the good stuff and not get hooked into the marketing and also the culture of drunkenness as a form of entertainment.
Giving the kids a chance to get to know vodka has protected them from drink spiking too - they are much more skilled at tasting it in a drink that I was at their age.
What the kids see at home is also important - double standards don't help. husband does not drink to excess, he might have one nip of scotch every other evening. Plus he drinks GOOD scotch - so he can't afford to have more than one nip every other night. The kids taste bad scotch at parties, and good scotch at home. They don't like bad scotch and can't afford their own good scotch.
My brother drinks too much. Far too much. He said once, "People only drink because of how it feels."
"Speak for yourself," I told him. But for him, he was right. And his kids grew up watching him and were drinking far too much from far too young and it's taken them years to get sober. My brother used to challenge others, especially other men, to match him in drinking. If a bloke refused to drink as much as him he would accuse him of being a "piker", someone whose manhood was in question because he couldn't/wouldn't have a drink. And my brother would drink any old rubbish, so would his kids. I think they sobered up before he did.
Marg