Well,
I just got this log in last week or so and now I really need some advice from you more experienced parents. I feel a bit silly sharing today after suicide discussions but I guess we all matter in life and we all need different kinds of help for our kids.
My son, 17, who has been using cocaine, weed, and alcohol decided to run from the juvenile detention center once his probation counselor decided to take him into custody today. We went to get help from the county a year ago, when we learned of cocaine use, enrolled him in an inpatient drug program then outpatient. While in outpatient, he failed a drug screen again for cocaine so my husband and I decided to remove him from his home environment long term and placed him in a boarding school for therapy, treatment etc. Unfortunately, after 7 months, we discovered that his liver was malfunctioning and during the diagnosis, the school said he had to come home. They could not have him enrolled during treatment, testing and recovery.
So, as scared as we were, we brought him home, to continue to learn what was going on with his liver, and what needed to be done to help it. My husband and I knew that he had not been gone long enough to change friends, and make all the life style changes needed to get clean and sober. But, we did not have a choice.
So- here we are six months after his return back in the juvenile system but this time he ran. He passed three drug screens when he first got home but he has been loosing it since July. When we were in court last month the judge said he was going to take him from our custody and put in him detention, indefinitely the next time he messed up, failed a drug screen or got in trouble.
Our court date is next Tues, but this morning when I hold him he had to see the probation counselor for the drug screen today, he told me that he smoked again and that I had to help him to pass the test. I had to get him something to drink so the weed would not show up. Well, I just lost it and started yelling. What do you think I have been trying to do for the past 4 years? We have spent thousands of dollars to help you. I can't express all the fear I had knowing that the judge said he would take him next week if he did anything wrong. So- I told him that if he wasn't ready to go in 30 min, I would call the probation C and tell her that he refused to come for the drug screen. He began to cry but got ready and went. The drive over was like going to a funeral, all silence. What can you say, we both knew he would not test clean, we both knew, we would end up in jail...
During the meeting with the probation C, our son told her he smoked and she explained that, that was a violation of his probation and that since he had given him a warning before that she had to take him into custody today, for his safety until court next Tues. As they were preparing him, at the front desk, with NO Handcuffs, he just bolted out the door, 100 miles an hour. GONE.... I couldn't believe my eyes, as my husband went running after him and all the police ran to their cars after him. So- now its 7 pm and I still don't know if they got him. But we are doomed because even if he shows up here tonight or in 4 days, I have to call the police to come get him because he is wanted now. I just hope that his is ok; he lost his flip flops, as he ran in the rain and now it is dark. He had never gone anything like this before. How, do you stay strong, no parent should have to call the police and tell them to lock up their son. I will never forget the sight as he ran down the street today, not having a clue as to where to go or what to do. No ID, money, phone or even shoes.
Anyone have any words of wisdom for us? We know he will end up in custody, I just fear for him until they get him, or even after they do... Please help.......
I just got this log in last week or so and now I really need some advice from you more experienced parents. I feel a bit silly sharing today after suicide discussions but I guess we all matter in life and we all need different kinds of help for our kids.
My son, 17, who has been using cocaine, weed, and alcohol decided to run from the juvenile detention center once his probation counselor decided to take him into custody today. We went to get help from the county a year ago, when we learned of cocaine use, enrolled him in an inpatient drug program then outpatient. While in outpatient, he failed a drug screen again for cocaine so my husband and I decided to remove him from his home environment long term and placed him in a boarding school for therapy, treatment etc. Unfortunately, after 7 months, we discovered that his liver was malfunctioning and during the diagnosis, the school said he had to come home. They could not have him enrolled during treatment, testing and recovery.
So, as scared as we were, we brought him home, to continue to learn what was going on with his liver, and what needed to be done to help it. My husband and I knew that he had not been gone long enough to change friends, and make all the life style changes needed to get clean and sober. But, we did not have a choice.
So- here we are six months after his return back in the juvenile system but this time he ran. He passed three drug screens when he first got home but he has been loosing it since July. When we were in court last month the judge said he was going to take him from our custody and put in him detention, indefinitely the next time he messed up, failed a drug screen or got in trouble.
Our court date is next Tues, but this morning when I hold him he had to see the probation counselor for the drug screen today, he told me that he smoked again and that I had to help him to pass the test. I had to get him something to drink so the weed would not show up. Well, I just lost it and started yelling. What do you think I have been trying to do for the past 4 years? We have spent thousands of dollars to help you. I can't express all the fear I had knowing that the judge said he would take him next week if he did anything wrong. So- I told him that if he wasn't ready to go in 30 min, I would call the probation C and tell her that he refused to come for the drug screen. He began to cry but got ready and went. The drive over was like going to a funeral, all silence. What can you say, we both knew he would not test clean, we both knew, we would end up in jail...
During the meeting with the probation C, our son told her he smoked and she explained that, that was a violation of his probation and that since he had given him a warning before that she had to take him into custody today, for his safety until court next Tues. As they were preparing him, at the front desk, with NO Handcuffs, he just bolted out the door, 100 miles an hour. GONE.... I couldn't believe my eyes, as my husband went running after him and all the police ran to their cars after him. So- now its 7 pm and I still don't know if they got him. But we are doomed because even if he shows up here tonight or in 4 days, I have to call the police to come get him because he is wanted now. I just hope that his is ok; he lost his flip flops, as he ran in the rain and now it is dark. He had never gone anything like this before. How, do you stay strong, no parent should have to call the police and tell them to lock up their son. I will never forget the sight as he ran down the street today, not having a clue as to where to go or what to do. No ID, money, phone or even shoes.
Anyone have any words of wisdom for us? We know he will end up in custody, I just fear for him until they get him, or even after they do... Please help.......