TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
I love this book! I have marked nearly every page. Oh, how I wish I had read it when difficult child was 2.
It's called Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships, by Temple Grandin and Sean Barron. They are both autistic/Aspies but they view and react to things very differently. Sean seems more like my son--very reactive, very emotional.
Some of the things in the book I have done naturally, and some would never have occurred to me so I will put them into place.
One thing my son does a lot, is when he says the wrong thing, he immediately goes into denial and anger, and says, "I was just kidding!"
I told him that saying mean things like that and then saying you're just kidding is passive-aggressive.
He has no idea what that really is but he knows it's a negative.
I will use different words with-him.
Also, Temple pointed out that with-a lot of kids, saying, "I love you as a person but do not love your actions" is way too abstract a concept for Aspies. I totally agree. It's something they will not "get" until they are much older.
Please wish me luck--I want to get my husband to read this from cover to cover!
Right now I'm in MN, visiting my dad, so I can't try out any of these new things until next wk.
I want our child psychologist to read it, too. He is very good, but I think this book would be helpful for him, nonetheless. I don't think we can ever learn too much about this topic.
I am SO proud of Temple and Sean for overcoming so much of their autistic problems. They call it "coming out." LOL! They have offered an invaluable, priceless gift to the rest of us, by being able to analyze their issues and thought patterns, and then put them into book format and lectures. This is so exciting.
I know I have written about Temple b4, but I feel like a kid in a candy shop at the moment. I just can't get enough of it!
It's called Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships, by Temple Grandin and Sean Barron. They are both autistic/Aspies but they view and react to things very differently. Sean seems more like my son--very reactive, very emotional.
Some of the things in the book I have done naturally, and some would never have occurred to me so I will put them into place.
One thing my son does a lot, is when he says the wrong thing, he immediately goes into denial and anger, and says, "I was just kidding!"
I told him that saying mean things like that and then saying you're just kidding is passive-aggressive.
He has no idea what that really is but he knows it's a negative.
I will use different words with-him.
Also, Temple pointed out that with-a lot of kids, saying, "I love you as a person but do not love your actions" is way too abstract a concept for Aspies. I totally agree. It's something they will not "get" until they are much older.
Please wish me luck--I want to get my husband to read this from cover to cover!
Right now I'm in MN, visiting my dad, so I can't try out any of these new things until next wk.
I want our child psychologist to read it, too. He is very good, but I think this book would be helpful for him, nonetheless. I don't think we can ever learn too much about this topic.
I am SO proud of Temple and Sean for overcoming so much of their autistic problems. They call it "coming out." LOL! They have offered an invaluable, priceless gift to the rest of us, by being able to analyze their issues and thought patterns, and then put them into book format and lectures. This is so exciting.
I know I have written about Temple b4, but I feel like a kid in a candy shop at the moment. I just can't get enough of it!