MM- great topic! I wish there was a way to make people more aware who are in the general population instead of those of us who see the real impact. My difficult child is 13 yo. I have started hearing some attention given to the facts that parents/family can't really help those over 18 yo get help when they seriously need it. In our situation, I am on the verge of panic because I can't get difficult child help now, should he need a psychiatric hospital.
He had been in an acute psychiatric hospital before, 2 years ago- short term. I had to jump through hoops to get him in that- I did it because I thought his life was in danger and/or mine or someone else's- whoever might try to keep him alive. Anyway, I was told then that he wouldn't be accepted for that short-term stay if he was not an imminent threat and I was told that, here, that basicly means the kid is holding a knife over their own wrist or someone else's body. Now, since he started a brush fire last year, I have been told that no psychiatric hospital or Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in this state will accept him, ever, because it was arson, period. The only possible option, and I underline possible (not definite), is that if he needs a psychiatric hospital in the future to keep himself or someone else safe, I would need to sign over custody, at least temporarily (RIGHT!!), to the state and they could send him to a psychiatric hospital or Residential Treatment Center (RTC) out-of-state. Again, my difficult child is 13 yo. No violent crimes. Hospitalized before for suicidal ideation/my fear. Brush fire- no one hurt and no intent to hurt. He's listed as a "non-violent" offender.
If it is this way now, what possible help could he get 3 years, 5 years, or ten years down the road?
So, I guess my answer to your question is "I definitely think parents/family who have actually been a part of difficult child's life on more than a superficial basis should be able to step in and find appropriate help for their loved ones." I think the caretaker should be able (and required) to show some sort of proof that they have been the primary caretaker, that this is what the difficult child needs, but then, that help should be available. Real help- not just "lock them up and throw away the key". But jeez, they can't even get outpatient tdocs to give much help- sorry, I just don't think many of them know very much. So how can they get more serious help available?
Just my 2 cents. This is a sore subject for me because of our situation- I'm not trying to offend anyone and really can't see beyond my own fears on this subject right now.