The good, the bad, and the ugly

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Feb 12, 2007.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The good- Yesterday was difficult child's wrestling tournament. He got himself ready on his own! Packed his and my lunch-organized everything-that is huge for difficult child! He finally won a match! :)He won on points, not a pin. He took third place out of 4 and was very excited.

    The bad-On the way home difficult child became very rude and disrespectful and loss computer privilegs for a week. :rolleyes:

    The ugly-We decided to celebrate his win and went out for a nice dinner. easy child had been very nice to him about his win. When we got in the car to leave he started picking at her and everyone else about everything. We were driving her to her faith formation class. When we pulled in the parking lot he said he wished he didn't have me for a mom. I said too bad he was stuck with me-my rhino skin was on! Well for easy child it wasn't and for some reason this sent her over the edge. She started crying and screaming that he was a cold person-that I had just spent my day with him and now he was being a monster. She got out of the van and was still crying. Poor easy child-it takes a lot to make her cry. Then as we left difficult child began kicking at my seat and wouldn't stop so I got in the back seat still very calm. Then he was calling husband and me f-------. He was also bothering husband while he was driving. He ended up losing his Pokemon cards for a week and spending 20 minutes in his room (the max he can tolerate). It just made me so mad because he had had such a good start to his day and then totally blew it-I know it was a long day but still. :nonono:

    To make matters worse our cable went out and I couldn't even come here to vent!

    Thanks for listening.
  2. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    Sounds like a busy day in your household.

    difficult children hurtful words, are just that - words. While words can be hurtful, they can also be ignored. easy child has a long road ahead of her learning to tune out difficult child.

    I'm wondering if maybe after such a long day for difficult child, a night out on the town to celebrate may have been too much. (I know, sighhhh...we want to do what most families would do to celebrate.)

    I might try having take out pizza as a celebration for difficult children wrestling accomplishments. If you see that he cannot handle anything of a celebratory nature (our difficult children are notorious for sabotaging a good day), you may just congratulate him & go on about your day as normal.

    I hope easy child will grow some rhino skin herself. It's not easy being a young teen girl - add in a difficult child brother!!! Ugly, very ugly.

    Take care of yourself, lady. Heading down to Wisconsin this weekend - going right by your exit - too bad you'll be working.
  3. KateM

    KateM Member

    Sorry to hear the day ended on a bad note!

    The car has been the site of many an argument or meltdown over the years.I'd like to think we could use car rides as "family times" but this didn't work for our family. Now, both difficult child and easy child bring 'their" music -- easy child has an iPod and difficult child brings his portable CD player and headphones.

    It is so hard for our PCs. My daughter would feel badly for us parents and try to reason with difficult child when he was angry at us. Now she tries to ignore what he says,but that's difficult for a teen age girl.

    TYLERFAN New Member

    I'm so sorry you had a bad day.
    Their words can cut, I know :nonono:
    Just wanted to send Hugs and Prayers.

  5. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I'm sorry difficult child's behavior spiraled downward so much. Duckie can get like that, too. It's as if a difficult child can only take so much good stuff happening and then they need to go bananas for awhile. Maybe making something difficult child likes for dinner would be a better option next time he wins a match. {{{Hugs}}}
  6. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style="color: #6666CC">so often it seems when they have a positive experience...esp one that brings them praise....they just have to take themselves down. it's heartbreaking for us parents. jarrod was so good at this back in the day i become very hesitant to praise him when things were going well. he was able, eventually, to see what he was doing to himself.

    hope today is better for you guys.

    kris </span>
  7. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    I've never gotten use to how things can go from good to bad in the blink of an eye. sigh.... It's so frustrating.
  8. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    sometimes I simply cannot believe what we parents put up with in a day. it is a big challenge to get thru some of them!
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhhhhhhhhhh, I'm so sorry. I know EXACTLY what you mean. From good to bad to good to bad... it's nervewracking.