toughlovin
Well-Known Member
I dont remember where I last left off with my difficult child... but he moved across the country, many states away with his latest girlfriend. The one time I met, as they were leaving, I liked her but really I have no real idea of what she is like.
My dad passed away last October and left each of his grandchildren $5K. I am executor of the estate.... so my difficult child asked us for money from that amount to life on and get restarted. It is his money and I have to give it to him anyways so it seemed to me it was a good use of it to use it to get resettled. So they have gone through it pretty fast, but we have been giving it to him in chunks. So he is down to his last $1500 and wanted it asap.... we had quite a conversation about it via text. I just wasnt willing to pay extra fees to get it to him fast because it doesnt make sense why he needed it by today. The whole thing is sketchy to me. So we did transfer the money and he will get the rest today or Monday. My feeling is so be it, now I am done with it. I know they are using it for living expenses but I am not sure what that includes.
I am sure from his FB postings that he is at least drinking again but how much drug use there is I have no idea. I suspect there is at least pot if not much more. Meanwhile this money should be going to pay next months rent but I am not sure it will.
The whole thing has made his dad and I very uncomfortable.
But we decided give him the money and then we are done with it. I have made it clear we will not be supporting him after the money is gone. He says he knows that and hopefully he does.
I suspect soon we will be in the situation where he is asking for money......and will claim homelessness or whatever. We will need to stay strong.... Kathy i will be right there with you.
I hope they have just not managed their money well and that it is not being used for drug use.... but I know I have no idea and cant believe anything he tells me.
The good thing is he is now across the country so I dont have to feel guilty about not including him in Thanksgiving or Xmas plans!! My daughter has made it clear she does not want to see him at this point.
I am doing ok... living my life. My favorite saying right now is "It is what it is! It will be what it will be!". I know there is nothing I can do and I need to let this play out however it is going to play out. I need to stay out of the way and like Kathy I need to not rescue him when some situation comes up. That may be coming soon and I am going to have to stay strong!!
TL
My dad passed away last October and left each of his grandchildren $5K. I am executor of the estate.... so my difficult child asked us for money from that amount to life on and get restarted. It is his money and I have to give it to him anyways so it seemed to me it was a good use of it to use it to get resettled. So they have gone through it pretty fast, but we have been giving it to him in chunks. So he is down to his last $1500 and wanted it asap.... we had quite a conversation about it via text. I just wasnt willing to pay extra fees to get it to him fast because it doesnt make sense why he needed it by today. The whole thing is sketchy to me. So we did transfer the money and he will get the rest today or Monday. My feeling is so be it, now I am done with it. I know they are using it for living expenses but I am not sure what that includes.
I am sure from his FB postings that he is at least drinking again but how much drug use there is I have no idea. I suspect there is at least pot if not much more. Meanwhile this money should be going to pay next months rent but I am not sure it will.
The whole thing has made his dad and I very uncomfortable.
But we decided give him the money and then we are done with it. I have made it clear we will not be supporting him after the money is gone. He says he knows that and hopefully he does.
I suspect soon we will be in the situation where he is asking for money......and will claim homelessness or whatever. We will need to stay strong.... Kathy i will be right there with you.
I hope they have just not managed their money well and that it is not being used for drug use.... but I know I have no idea and cant believe anything he tells me.
The good thing is he is now across the country so I dont have to feel guilty about not including him in Thanksgiving or Xmas plans!! My daughter has made it clear she does not want to see him at this point.
I am doing ok... living my life. My favorite saying right now is "It is what it is! It will be what it will be!". I know there is nothing I can do and I need to let this play out however it is going to play out. I need to stay out of the way and like Kathy I need to not rescue him when some situation comes up. That may be coming soon and I am going to have to stay strong!!
TL