The Ups and Downs

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Jan 9, 2011.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Katie and M have, as far as I can tell, done well here in our shelter. She has the medical card and food stamp card changed for this county. The kids are enrolled in school and are thrilled to be back with their classmates and teachers they enjoyed so much. Shelter has a good family environment that makes the clients be responsible for themselves by having to do daily cleaning and taking turns buying and cooking meals for themselves and the other clients. (sort of their donation thing) The grands are the only children in the shelter so there are no other kids to cause issues and since residents are not that many there aren't many issues that way either, especially since they're screened to some extent. Katie has sounded positively cheerful when I've talked to her.

    They went to the job fair and applied for a factory in a town about 20 miles from us. Decent pay. BOTH of them applied and tested for the job. Shocked me that katie did too. FRS will provide transportation. ( I know because nichole's bff and her husband also applied for it and they can't drive) Katie is nervous and really hoping they get called for the jobs.

    Katie went to the dentist who confirmed my theory that much of her headaches are due to her teeth. She has one molar that has crumbled down to nothing and her wisdom teeth are putting too much pressure against her other teeth and her gums were severely infected. He put her on an antibiotic and she has the bad tooth pulled tues. Then dentist will assess the wisdom teeth and where to go from there.

    She also went to see a fam doctor about the leg swelling issues and to get her migraine medications. Well for this fam doctor you have to be screened by a nurse practitioner first. I know this doctor and the nurse practitioner pretty well because Nichole went to him for a while. Both are good. NP said that the swelling in the legs was due to walking so much, which is bull. Katie doesn't walk hardly at all, M does all the walking. At xmas she didn't walk diddle and her legs were balloons. We're not talking ankles being puffy, we're talking huge clear up to the hips.....her knees were twice normal size. She did write scripts for the medications.

    And here is the punch in the gut. She found a large lump in katie's breast. Now turns out katie has known it was there for months. How many months she wouldn't tell me. It started out small and has been steadily growing and becoming more painful. She never had it checked because she was terrified it was cancer. OMG! Yes, I bawled her out big time. Breast cancer is rampant in husband's side of the family. mother in law lost her right breast to cancer and katie knew that. I've taught all the girls as soon as they hit puberty to do the monthly exams ect and showed them the proper way to do it.

    While I can understand her's her reaction to it that stuns me. Breast cancer awareness is all over the place. And I taught them that the whole point to the self exams was for early detection because that vastly increases chances for survival.

    While I'm scared to death for her.........I want to just slap the snot right out of her for behaving so utterly stupidly. Breast tissue metastasizes fairly easily due to all the lymph tissue in the breast. If this lump is cancer and it's been growing that fast for that long........... well in all honesty she's got one heckova road ahead of her.

    She also has the ultrasound for the lump on tuesday. It's in the morning, the tooth is in the afternoon. It's going to be one lovely day for her.

    Tomorrow is her birthday. Gee what a lovely birthday it's going to be. sigh I chatted with her a bit online today. She is scared to death. I don't blame her, anyone would be. I'm hoping it is a cyst, but I'm not thinking that is what it is. We won't know more until after the ultrasound is done.
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Lisa...saying prayers for Katie. I'm so sorry.
  3. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Oh wow, I've been wondering how everyone was doing, but man... I hope it's just a cyst or milk duct problem.
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Hugs, and I'm praying...
  5. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    Sending my prayers too!
  6. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    I am so sorry. jSending prayers for a good outcome.
  7. Mamaof5

    Mamaof5 Guest

    My prayers are with her. I know how scary medical issues that are not attended to can be. Please get her to have her heart checked too, the teeth can lead to mycarditis and pericarditis in women her age among a whole host of cardiac issues from bad teeth. Dental damage can be a cause of trimingual neuralgia 1 & 2 which may be the cause of her headaches. She needs a neurologist as well. She deserve to be healthy and you deserve a healthy daughter and her kids deserve a healthy mom..all the way around.
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    i am SO SORRY about Katie's health. Does the medical card cover her too? If not, the breast issue may change that. Cancer is one of those things that they often will cover someone they otherwise would not. I know how it got to where it was - she likely didn't have a single clue about how to go about getting health care and may even have felt she didn't deserve it because the things with the kids that she didn't provide/deal with. Her journal showed that it would be in keeping iwth her other thought patterns. If it is cancer, it may have something to do with her legs. I don't know, but it will need to be checked out well.

    It sounds like she is doing a lot better mentally. being around supportive family is likely one of the things she really needed to face this. Maybe it is what gave her the courage or whatever to admit that she needed you and to move the kids back to your area from the other states they lived in. I hope and pray that she is able to handle this road with your excellent guidance and support.

    Do the kids know about her lump? They will need some extra patience and reassurance - can you imagine if YOU were left with M for a dad and no mom? I bet this is also a reason they came back - so Katie knew that this wouldn't be the entire scenario, cause Kayla would become the head of the family in reality but not in name or authority.

    You are one awesome mom - your kids are lucky to have you. Hugs and prayers to ALL of you!

    oh - awesome about the job.
  9. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How scary. This is one of my fears for Oldest, who tends to completely ignore her health issues. It's been years since she saw an obgyn.

    I hope things turn out ok.
  10. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    At least now she's on the right track all the way around. The dr's will take care of her, and if it's nothing, she can have one less thing to worry about. If it is something, well, she'll be under a dr's care from this point on. ((((Hugs))))
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Thank you all so much for the prayers. She really needs them. The leg swelling could possibly due to cancer spreading to the lymph system instead of (or in combination with) the OTC medications. I don't have a good feeling about this, but I'm praying hard that this time I am utterly dead wrong and it's only a cyst or something fairly easily treated.

    Yes it goes with her mindset as per the journal entries. And yes I've informed her sibs of the lump and the ultrasound and of how scared she is. The whole family is praying hard for her. I'm also thinking this was a contributing factor to them coming here......whether actually thought out or not. Katie has told me for 2 yrs that her biggest fear is that she would die and M would be left to care for the kids on his own. Which also makes me utterly terrified that this lump might have been growing that long as well.

    Don't blame her as it's our biggest fear as well. Because at this point he just could not do it at all, period. Not unless he is lying about how much he can read/write.......and while I think his ability is more than he let's on, it's still very poor skill wise.

    I'll keep you updated. I just hope to heck they don't make her wait long for the results.
  12. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    I am thinking of you and Katie... and hoping the news is good and comes soon.
  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I hope the results from the ultrasound come in soon. I would bet the idea of leaving the kids alone with just Mike to raise them is totally terrifying to her, esp if she thinks/knows that he is abusive, esp to Kayla. Regardless, I am so thankful that she is close to you all and not in the shelter in Dayton or in St Louis or wherever. They ALL will need the family to help all of them through this. I am sure that Kayla is aware of what is going on with her mom and is scared to death. If it is possible to get her alone and talk to her about her mom being sick and what will happen (that Katie will get all the help possible and will have family there at every step for all of them), I would do that. The poor kid has to be really really scared.

    LOTS of hugs and prayers for all of you.
  14. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    Been adding my prayers for you, katie and the family. Let us know when you hear anything.
  15. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    You have all my prayers your way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!