things I notice about difficult child...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ksm, Jul 22, 2012.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    it is probably typical difficult child/teen behavior, but she actually thinks every thing revolves around her! OK - you guys probably have the same things to deal with. She was gone for a week and came home yesterday. Things were actually pretty good most the day. At dinner time, she yells at easy child, "Why are you mad at me??" easy child says she wasn't mad. difficult child then says, "well then, why when I went to sit down you pushed my chair away from you?" easy child: "because I was trying to sit down and your chair was too close. I had to move it to get to my chair".

    Other encounters... difficult child thought easy child had played with her iPod while she was gone for the week. Before she left, difficult child and I put it in a linen closet drawer and it was covered up. When she gets home, she goes to gets it, turns it on, and the battery was dead. SO... she says easy child must have gotten it and played with it. I asked her why she thought that and she said, "it had a charge when I put it in here last week, and now it won't turn on". easy child has her own iPod, didn't even know where hers was... but because of the "evidence" she just "knew" easy child had done it.

    If easy child hums a song... it is only to irritate her. If she plays a music box, it is only because easy child knows she doesn't like it, and on and on. Everything we do is because of her!! So I guess the laws of physics don't exist because the world revolves around her! Frustrating... but we try to help her see that there are other reasons things happen. KSM
     
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Wow. What paranoia. difficult child 1 misinterprets intentions and in other cases jumps to HIS logical conclusions based on the "eveidence". Come to think of it, I can see all of these situations happening with him ..... just not all in one day and ..... it would be his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) thinking errors causing the whole thing. Are you 100% confident her diagnoses are correct?
     
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I was thinking that same thing, TeDo. In our case, it would be the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) working against my son, distorting his views. But I don't know if you've got a working diagnosis, ksm. I would talk to the dr about it. The observations you mentioned should be very useful.
     
  4. Methuselah

    Methuselah New Member

    Or difficult child believes easy child did and does those things because she does them to him. She has used his iPod without permission, she has sung or hummed a song just irritate easy child. She thinks he did it, because she does it. My difficult child 2 is a master thief. When she misplaces something, she immediately thinks one of the easy child kids stole it. At which time my PCs quickly say, "The only thief in the house is you, so check your own pockets." :-/
     
  5. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    TeDo and TerryJ2 - I am not sure if we have a true diagnosis. It has always been ADD and anxiety. But behavior problems started and they keep using the original diagnosis. They have tried medications for ADD and anxiety - but had worse behavior. So the nurse practioner thought bipolar - because of the reactions to the medications and difficult child's biomom is bipolar. Since she is 14 they have not officially gave her a bipolar diagnosis. But if I was a betting person.... And I have been fighting with the girls insurance company to let the neuropsychologist evaluate and test her - but they deny it every time.

    Methusela - your remarks reminded me of last summer... she complained that easy child had stolen some of her money... she was sure she was missing some 1$ bills. So, I listened to her story, had her empty the purse so I could count it, and low and behold there was MY $1 silver certificate that I had been saving for over 30 years. She "didn't steal it!" She "found it... in a desk drawer..." MY Desk Drawer! So you can see what her logic is like at times.

    KSM
     
  6. Methuselah

    Methuselah New Member

    difficult child 2's, Master Thief, first explanation for anything she has in her possession is "I found
    It." She found it in someone's backpack, my wallet, her brothers' drawers, the counselor's shelf, etc., when you investigate. Finding things is something a normal person does, so she says that…well, that and try to find the owners. She forgets the latter part. :-/
     
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Both easy child/difficult child and difficult child are like this. If difficult child happens to be staring in easy child/difficult child's direction is to irritate her! Both automatically jump to accuse the other when something is missing or broken. Sigh...it is so tiring. At least when difficult child finds out easy child/difficult child didn't do something he can apologize but easy child/difficult child can't do the same thing when the situation is reversed.
     
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If you're not having success fighting the insurance co for a neuropsychologist evaluation... have you tried for some of the other avenues? like... a child behavioral/developmental clinic at a teaching hospital? or a PhD-level psychologist with extensive evaluation experience (this was the one that helped us)? It's gone on so long that any comprehensive evaluation might be worth a chance.
     
  9. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    The neurospych is affiliated with the state university... And where we live it is slim picken's. I went on line and there are only 4 neuropsychs in the state that treat children, and this one was the only one in our half of the state. The mental health facility here has no psychologist or psyciatrist for children to see... just licenses social worker/therapists and a nurse practictioner that is supervised by a psychiatrist 60 miles away. And from what I have heard, the nurse is much better than the psychiatric! I am not sure we can afford appts not covered by insurance at this time. I know we can't afford not to keep pursueing things. easy child needs braces ($5,500) and I need a 3 tooth bridge or a dental implant ($3,000 to 4,000). I just don't see how I can add any other expense at this time. We are already living very frugally as it is. KSM
     
  10. EStephens

    EStephens New Member

    Oh sweet God in heaven! I thought it was only my difficult child that did this!!!! Middle kid can't even breathe the same air sometimes because he is "purposely annoying" difficult child!
    Thank you for sharing this!!!
     
  11. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    EStephens... isn't it great to know you are not alone?! The other day, easy child was taking a bath, difficult child was in a hurry for her turn, so easy child got out, left the bathroom fast so difficult child could have it. I hear difficult child yelling... I go in and ask what is wrong... and she says "she left her dirty old water in the tub and she knows I hate that". Had to explain that easy child did not LEAVE the water for her... she got out and left the room so fast, trying to be helpful, that the drain hadn't worked fast enough to drain out! And yes, it was draining... just not fast enough. difficult child can always turn EVERYTHING around to how it was done to her... not just a natural consequence of how life and physics work. KSM
     
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    EStephens and ksm, where's the "like" button? :)
     
  13. EStephens

    EStephens New Member

    Yes it is absolutely fabulous to find out I am not alone. I have felt alone or like a horrible mother so much since the signs of Asperger's took over our home. I have friends that are great but they have NO CLUE about a difficult child. In fact, after a conversation with them I usually feel worse then better! Oh how I love this forum!!!
     
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