This is a deeply personal, marital, family issue. It will change EVERY aspect of your lives and can put a huge strain on the family as a unit, the marriage, the parent-child bond, and every individual in the family, including the foster child. It may mean putting all of you into serious danger. Many of these kids are incredibly damaged and most likely you will NOT be told what was done to the child or BY the child. I am pretty sure it was MWM who took in a foster son (11yo or so my fuzzy brain wants to remember) who sexually abused her other children!! I have known cases where a much younger child has abused an older child very badly - even though the older child was a easy child.
The statistics on the numbers of foster kids who have been abused is terrifyingly high - esp for those who are willing to foster an adult child. Usually the foster and/or adoptive parents have NO idea and the system doesn't want to tell you because then many foster parents might refuse to continue doing that work.
It would put a big stress on manster. He has been the only child for many years, and he may very well feel left out and jealous in many ways - even if he doesn't want to feel/act that way.
This is going to sound chauvinist, and it is NOT designed to offend anyone, but there is NO WAY that I would permit my husband to stay home and care for foster or daycare kids. NOT NOT NOT because husband would EVER hurt a child in ANY way because I am completely sure he would NEVER hurt anyone. I would be VERY worried about possible false accusations of molestation/sexual abuse. Men are so incredibly vulnerable to those accusations and it only takes ONE allegation to completely DESTROY their reputations, careers, and everything else they value. Even having the allegation be PROVEN unfounded - having the man's innocence be PROVEN - will NOT EVER repair the man's reputation. An old friend of my parents, a man my dad taught with and was best friends with for many many years, was accused of sexual misconduct by a female student. The investigation cleared him 100%, even proved he was NEVER alone with her, not even in a hallway during classes, but even now, twenty plus years later, he is still at the SAME level and paygrade that he was at then. His family lost almost everything to pay his legal fees, and he couldn't get a job anywhere else, so he made the school district keep him on as an employee, but he was NEVER given promotions, etc... and they put him in the nastiest, roughest, most dangerous schools in a large metro area school district. It has been a waste of a very kind, wonderful, intelligent man's potential - ALL lost because some jr high girl got mad that she had a detention for skipping class.
The amount you are given to support the second child is not likely to be much. It may be enough to help you all out, only you k now what your budget can handle. Just be careful. If you do choose to be a foster parent, I am sure that you will find many rewards. Be sure to ask, up front, how often the kids are moved. In our current town, foster kids are moved as little as possible depending on their needs, etc.... Esp the very young children. Not every area is like that. I has a friend who stopped fostering because it was the policy in her area to move kids ever 4-6 months, at the longest they were with a family for a school year. The idea was to keep the kids and parents from bonding so closely, so that if they had to be moved it wasn't as traumatic for them because they were "used" to new families. in my opinion that is torture for all parties - the kids never have anyone to become attached to and the families deal with heartbreak over and over and over. It has been a while since she stopped, so I don't know if that has changed since then, but it is something to ask about.
You are a wonderful, sweet lady - the children in your life are very blessed!
ps. Thanks for the mito disorder article!!