This is where I ALWAYS get stuck

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by STRESSEDTOMAX, Dec 21, 2011.



    difficult child started partial hospitalization program yesterday. I really liked the psychiatric so that made me feel good. He had a good day - 35 out of 40 points and I picked him up at 2:30. In the car he was playing with my phone, which I usually let him do because he plays the games and downloads appropriate free apps. Anyway, something comes up that he won a free ipad. I told him it wasn't true and told him he could put in our address and that's it cause I figured they can't bill me with no billing info. He was still trying to get this an hour later. I honestly had not been watching him closely cause I was running around the house searching for all my papers on him (hospitalizations, medications, suspensions, etc)...I am soo disorganized...anyway, I finally asked him to give it back to me and he wouldn't because he said he was just about to get it. I wound up grabbing it from him. He started yelling, calling me "woman", slamming the fridge door, hit me, stomped on my foot...I'm sure you get the picture. After 5 minutes, he calmed down. I needed to report this to the partial and he kept asking me not to. I feel I have to because if they don't know the truth about what happens at home, this won't work. I just felt bad because he might go down a level for today and lose a few privileges. I wrote that it ended after 5 minutes and put it in a sealed envelope so he wouldn't see it.

    I feel like this was partially my fault for letting him continue with my phone so long and I also feel that when he refuses to accept my "NO" it's because he knows he can eventually wear me down and I'll give in. Just makes me feel that I'm creating all this and I feel guilty.
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I can totally relate to this.
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I feel for you. When you actually speak to the para (or whomever) about the details, I think you should let them know just what you've told us here. That way they can get a better feel of exactly how things are escalating to this point at home and maybe they can give more specific advice to you and tools for your difficult child. It wasn't your fault, as we all know, but maybe they can think of something you can say or do to help trigger your difficult child back into civilization when things start getting out of control.
  4. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Guilt never helps. You were busy, you needed to be. Maybe now that everything is together you can make a filewhere you keep all of his info. NAMI has some great forms to help you keep a history and everything you need, even a crisis form-not sure if it is on-line.
    Him going down a level is not the end of the world. At the other end, him being in trouble with the law for throwing a fit and calling a police officer(or someone else in authority) names and being physical will set him back a serious level! Give yourself a break. I'm proud of you for reporting the behavior. ((Hugs)).
  5. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    Like pp, just tell them the whole story as you lived it. Let them make the call on wether you could have a different reaction to it. They're here to help difficult child AND you as well. We are not perfect and that's ok. I feel V has forced me to learn and change a lot. But at the end of the day, HE needs to learn too (not just me or you!).
  6. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I totally agree. Guilt only makes us feel like we are not doing the best that we can under difficult circumstances. Tell them what happened just like you told us here. If your difficult child has to go down a level maybe (hopefully) it is something that he can learn from.