This time of year again

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Nancy, May 5, 2013.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This time of year is particularly difficult for me and I suspect it is for most of us here. May/June has so many reminders of opportunities lost and memories dashed. Whether it's senior year activities, awards ceremonies, prom, graduation, college searches and excitement that comes with all of that, weddings, showers, and on and on. We watch their friends and our neighbors and our extended family go through all the joys of this time of year and our hearts ache.

    I live in an area that has four distinct season, therefore as soon as spring blooms I am brought right back to that time four years ago when difficult child should have been making all those memories and all it does is make me sad all over again. This year her high school friends are graduating from college and looking forward to promising careers. Just reading our community newspaper makes me sad, trying to avoid all the feel good stories of young people doing all the things we dreamed our difficult children would be doing.

    I know things could be worse. I am grateful for the progress difficult child has made and yet my heart hurts for those things that will never be.

    So for all of our warrior moms here who are feeling the same sense of loss and sadness, I want you to know that I care and I'm thinking about you and all of us who have traveled this road. I hope that the sadness we feel today will be replaced in the near future with a sense of peace and hope for the future.
  2. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Member


    Well put! But I wish you weren't on this road.

    Mother's Day isn't a good one for me. I suspect others here feel the same.

    I remember when my Dad's Alzheimer's got to the point that he no longer knew that he didn't know. There was a gratitude and relief that he wasn't burdened by those frustrations any more.

    I try to feel the same about difficult child. Maybe he doesn't really know what he is missing. However, I think he does. Just cannot understand his choices.

    He actually told me last week that he didn't care that the bank was looking for him about his $400 plus fees overdrawn account. He said he wouldn't likely have another bank account or a car and it didn't matter.

    I need a big sign to hold up....Does Not Compute. Try as hard as I can and I just don't get it.

    *P.S. difficult child wants to major in accounting.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I went through the general sadness with four kids because none of them were into school fun, wanted college, or had grand plans for after high school.

    35 had college plans, but I knew he was too sick to make it. He was bright, but had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) so badly that he had to drop out. And he never went to prom or homecoming.

    Scott was arrogant and decided he would skip college and get a jump on his peers and make more money than them. HE DID! But at the time, it didn't seem like a good idea. He also skipped all the Mommy fun events at school. Then he left our family. Yeah, fun.

    Julie was on drugs. She did go to Cosmetology school, begrudgingly. She skipped all the high school festivities and we got a call from her hairdressing college that other kids were saying she was taking cocaine. It was a shining Mom moment, lemme tell ya....

    Sonic did his best and we were an d are so proud of him, but he of course is on the autism spectrum so it was different.

    Jumper is the first child we have been able to enjoy in that special way.

    I well know the sad feeling t hat my own children were left out.
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I feel for you Nancy. And, I know how you feel too.........
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I understand Nancy. Fortunately for me it is getting easier as I am more isolated from the teen group due to the passage of time. The diappointment and hurt of "the season" is ebbing...but not gone. Hugs DDD