T
toughlovin
Guest
Hi all and Rumpole,
I missed your original post and so dont have your whole story. I find it helpful to hear your point of view as it can help mem think about the issues with my son. I think your thoughts on talking about the life you want, rather than clean or dead was insightful and true. I know that was the approach the last tx place my son was in was taking... and I think it helped.
Clearly what you said in some of your early posts felt to some like you didnt understand the parents point of view... I cant respond to any of that as i didnt see them and now they are gone or I cant find them. I would be interested in what finally helped you turn your life around as you obviously have.
I do want to say that we have done everything possible to help our son. Yes we did kick him out of the house when he was 18.....and maybe it wasn't best for him from his point of view but it was absolutely necessary.... and I am not sure staying here doing drugs whenever he wanted would have been good for him either. He has had to live a very hard life because of the choices he has made, but they are his choices. In the last year we have helped him when he asked for help and he has gone to multiple tx programs at a huge financial cost to us... and the last time he walked away. That was his choice. What I have come to realize is that I cannot do this for him, and at times I do think he wants help but he has to be the one to really do the work to get help. He is almost 21 and is now living who knows where across the country from us. It truly breaks my heart.... but really I dont see that there is anything more I can do to help him unless he is willing to do the work to help himself.
And Nancy I am glad you updated that quote, to clean, dead or in jail. Because I know an addict who was on heroin for 27 years.... so that is not clean or dead.... but he did do time in prison!!! And eventually did get clean.... and his point to young addicts is similar to Rumpoles, do you really want to be like me and be 50 years old and still trying to get your life together?
TL
I missed your original post and so dont have your whole story. I find it helpful to hear your point of view as it can help mem think about the issues with my son. I think your thoughts on talking about the life you want, rather than clean or dead was insightful and true. I know that was the approach the last tx place my son was in was taking... and I think it helped.
Clearly what you said in some of your early posts felt to some like you didnt understand the parents point of view... I cant respond to any of that as i didnt see them and now they are gone or I cant find them. I would be interested in what finally helped you turn your life around as you obviously have.
I do want to say that we have done everything possible to help our son. Yes we did kick him out of the house when he was 18.....and maybe it wasn't best for him from his point of view but it was absolutely necessary.... and I am not sure staying here doing drugs whenever he wanted would have been good for him either. He has had to live a very hard life because of the choices he has made, but they are his choices. In the last year we have helped him when he asked for help and he has gone to multiple tx programs at a huge financial cost to us... and the last time he walked away. That was his choice. What I have come to realize is that I cannot do this for him, and at times I do think he wants help but he has to be the one to really do the work to get help. He is almost 21 and is now living who knows where across the country from us. It truly breaks my heart.... but really I dont see that there is anything more I can do to help him unless he is willing to do the work to help himself.
And Nancy I am glad you updated that quote, to clean, dead or in jail. Because I know an addict who was on heroin for 27 years.... so that is not clean or dead.... but he did do time in prison!!! And eventually did get clean.... and his point to young addicts is similar to Rumpoles, do you really want to be like me and be 50 years old and still trying to get your life together?
TL