TL and Sig please check in

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Nancy, May 24, 2012.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I miss you, what's been happening?

    I'm kinda lonely here and need my 12 step cyber support group.

  2. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Hey Nancy, I've been around; just feeling a little hermit like. Under some pressure at work, a little over-scheduled and a little overwhelmed. I just typed out a longgg response and my computer locked up and I am too weary to retype it all.

    difficult child stopped by the other night - and on one hand it was really heart warming to hear the 3 boys sitting around the kitchen table chatting and bantering, like I could close my eyes and pretend everything is OK. On the other hand, he sounded like Joe Izusu, really smooth and full of baloney; I think. Sometimes - this all seems so pointless -- the wondering, the researching options, trying to walk the line between a mother's love and not enabling and being oh so careful. I don't get a vote in how this turns out and I guess I am growing weary of being so emotionally vested in it. At the same time; I am watching his peers mature and move ahead and the contrast is growing greater.

    I have been reading the posts and have been feeling for everyone, I apologize for not responding. I haven't been capable of heartfelt, constructive responses and didn't want to respond with anything less than that. I am just weary of the heartache of having a "lost boy". Even when I am having a good time and am distracted, the ache is still there. And I guess I am learning to come to terms with the fact that it isn't temporary and that no amount of "careful parenting" can change it.

    I am sorry if I sound down - I am not so much down as I am resigned. It is what it is.
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    thinking of you a lot Sig. Take all the time you need but never feel alone.....
  4. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Thanks for asking Nancy. I too am here but pretty stressed out dealing with the beurocracy of getti him trasferred to the other program. It has been rather ridiculous....but he has a 730 am flight tomorrow morning and hopefully it will all works smoothly! This afternoon it looked like husband and i might have to fly down and basically be with him until hecould get admitted!! We were not happy with that but it might have been our best option....however many phone calls back and forth i think and hope it has worked out. I will let you know in the morning.

  5. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    Sig: I have been worried about you the last few days, and I'm so glad that you checked in here. I can understand how you can feel overwhelmed and weary about all the problems with your difficult child. Sometimes it feels like it is just not fair that we have devoted so many years to loving and raising our kids, and then we were blindsided with drug abuse and addiction. I wish that none of the parents of this board were dealing with such heart breaking and impossible problems with our children. It really helps me to know that i am not alone with an addicted child, and you also have a community here who will support you. I am sending you good wishes for a calm week-end, and peace for your hurting heart.
  6. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I read most of your posts, if not all. I am so very sorry for the pain and sorrow you all experience. Perhaps it's from a different perspective, but I do understand the depth of your suffering and the breadth of your love for your children. I don't always respond because my experience is not substance abuse, but as a mother, my heart is filled with empathy, compassion and tenderness for you. My thoughts, prayers and hopes for grace and peace are offered to all of you, all the time. God bless you all.
  7. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    Recovering Enabler: What a beautiful post! Your wishes and prayers mean a lot to me (and many others too). Thank you.
  8. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sig it must be bittersweet to see your sons interact and know this is the way it could be all the time. Don't you just want to shake him and ask him why he doesn't want that? I tried to figure this out with regard to my difficult child too and the conclusion I came to is that when I was her age I didn't want much to do with my parents either. Although I loved them I really wanted to spend all my time with my friends and if they tried to convince me to be more connected to family I probably wouldn't want to. But them my family was a bit dysfunctional and there was good reason for me not wanting to be there much. With difficult child I can't understand why she doesn't want to be involved in our family events because I think we are pretty neat.

    TL I am glad he is settled into the program and you can start to relax again. You must be emotionally drained.