Syracusegrad2012
New Member
Hi I posted a topic earlier regarding how I found out I had a learning disability and the ramifications of how I found out on top of the way that it hurt my family and I just have a few questions for the parents here who have raised kids with severe behavioral problems.
1. I was never diagnosed with conduct disorder or anything, nor did I really get into too much trouble growing up. I will admit that I was kind of selfish growing up but that was mostly a result of having an undiagnosed visual perception disorder/NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD).
2. I threw tons of temper tantrums growing up, talked about suicide occasionally, would get in a fair amount of trouble at school, had tons of depression growing up. I feel bad about the way this made my parents feel and it appeared really selfish. On the contrary I had a really serious learning disability eating me up no matter how hard I tried I kept failing, it made social situations hard, made school really hard and the worst thing of it all was I tried so hard to become a good athlete but failed miserably because of the visual processing disorder. I would cry all the time and have horrible depression outbursts to my parents and I can tell it really hurt them but it all comes down to my NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) and not getting help.
3. I would always complain to my parents about problem in school, and other things and always got detention but my problems were 90 percent of the time because of NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD).
4. I almost got expelled in High school because I befriended kids who were notorious for cheating, would steal tests, I would pay them to write my papers, they would give me math tests. I only became friends with them because I couldn't really read or write in elementary school and that it was the only way I could get by in the advanced classes that I was forced to take by my parents because my brother did as the NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) made school a living nightmare.
5.. When I finally found out I have NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD), it was under traumatic circumstances, and when I was 20. I worked really hard to overcome it but am still bitter how I found out, that I didn't find out earlier and what part of the blame fell on my parents, the school, myself.
so here are my questions or concerns. I know this is similar to something I asked before. I feel really bad about what I put my parents through growing up but then again I had a horrible undiagnosed learning disorder eating me up inside making my life hell. I was definitely selfish, appeared lazy, had emotional outbursts and really stressed my parents out but it was 90 percent of the time because of my undiagnosed learning disability. I don't know how to fell right now. I know most of oyu are parents with kids with disabilities but I don't know how I should feel about what I put through my parents through, even though some of the blame ultimately goes to them. I have so many mixed feelings about this situation because I know if you throw most people in my situation would have had the outbursts no confidence, crying all the time, cheating etc. (I know that sounds cynical but no amount of mental toughness can overcome the struggles of NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD)/visual processing disorder unless someone is helping you. It eats you up inside and will leave you with no self confidence and in a world of hopelessness and confusion. No one escaped an undiagnosed learning disability unscathed.)
I just want to hear other parents opinions.
1. I was never diagnosed with conduct disorder or anything, nor did I really get into too much trouble growing up. I will admit that I was kind of selfish growing up but that was mostly a result of having an undiagnosed visual perception disorder/NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD).
2. I threw tons of temper tantrums growing up, talked about suicide occasionally, would get in a fair amount of trouble at school, had tons of depression growing up. I feel bad about the way this made my parents feel and it appeared really selfish. On the contrary I had a really serious learning disability eating me up no matter how hard I tried I kept failing, it made social situations hard, made school really hard and the worst thing of it all was I tried so hard to become a good athlete but failed miserably because of the visual processing disorder. I would cry all the time and have horrible depression outbursts to my parents and I can tell it really hurt them but it all comes down to my NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) and not getting help.
3. I would always complain to my parents about problem in school, and other things and always got detention but my problems were 90 percent of the time because of NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD).
4. I almost got expelled in High school because I befriended kids who were notorious for cheating, would steal tests, I would pay them to write my papers, they would give me math tests. I only became friends with them because I couldn't really read or write in elementary school and that it was the only way I could get by in the advanced classes that I was forced to take by my parents because my brother did as the NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) made school a living nightmare.
5.. When I finally found out I have NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD), it was under traumatic circumstances, and when I was 20. I worked really hard to overcome it but am still bitter how I found out, that I didn't find out earlier and what part of the blame fell on my parents, the school, myself.
so here are my questions or concerns. I know this is similar to something I asked before. I feel really bad about what I put my parents through growing up but then again I had a horrible undiagnosed learning disorder eating me up inside making my life hell. I was definitely selfish, appeared lazy, had emotional outbursts and really stressed my parents out but it was 90 percent of the time because of my undiagnosed learning disability. I don't know how to fell right now. I know most of oyu are parents with kids with disabilities but I don't know how I should feel about what I put through my parents through, even though some of the blame ultimately goes to them. I have so many mixed feelings about this situation because I know if you throw most people in my situation would have had the outbursts no confidence, crying all the time, cheating etc. (I know that sounds cynical but no amount of mental toughness can overcome the struggles of NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD)/visual processing disorder unless someone is helping you. It eats you up inside and will leave you with no self confidence and in a world of hopelessness and confusion. No one escaped an undiagnosed learning disability unscathed.)
I just want to hear other parents opinions.