Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Aug 14, 2012.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    There is a student at our high school who is transgendered. He attended last year as a male but seeing her last night, I believe she is attending this year as a female. Eeyore is intensely bothered by this "lack of rule following". I tried to explain the difference between transgendered and gay. He so does not get it.

    I just tried to stress how people might bully her and that Eeyore is to go directly to an adult and let them know if he sees it happening.

    Does anyone know of any good resources for teaching a kid with Aspergers about this?

    (Eeyore is very effeminate in his mannerism and has been asked by other kids if he is gay. It would not surprise me if he was gay but he is so out of touch with his emotions --far more concerned with rule following - that we can't even go there.)
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I don't know of any resources but you may trying contacting LGBT youth group (look online) to see if they know of any resources. Good for you for being so proactive! This student will have a difficult enough transition without adding stress from Eeyore.
  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I don't know of any good resources for teaching this concept to Aspies.

    Is it possible to explain that sometimes G-d makes a mistake and gives girl parts to a boy and vice-versa?
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip


    I can see how Eeyore might have problems processing this... However... It really depends on the set of rules that you're looking at.

    For instance - in Scotland, a kilt was once a thing only men wore. Women wore a DRESS, never a skirt and blouse (kilt and sark); and oh my word NEVER NEVER NEVER trousers. That was the RULE. husband owns a kilt and is not allowed to wear it to work, though we do have transgender people and no one says anything to them. (I think they're afraid husband will wear it properly and go commando...)

    And - on that same slippery slope, why are women allowed to wear pants and skirts, but men are not allowed to wear skirts, only pants?

    In the 1980s, men permed their long hair and wore eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, blush and lipstick. (A la Poison, Bon Jovi...) This isn't rule breaking... It made them look better for the cameras.

    In China (at least a few years ago, not sure about now), only men could have fingernail art.

    So... The rules are different for different points of view. Would this help Eeyore any?

    (FWIW, I don't like it when husband wears his kilt in public - because he looks REALLY GOOD in it... To me.)
  5. confuzzled

    confuzzled Member

    i think i'd go the strict medical explanation with chromosomes and all and how sometimes there are errors in coding that need to be fixed by doctors (relating it to video code might make it more, umm, relateable). keep it matter of fact and factual to the best of your ability and rely ON his sense of the rules instead of trying to dance around them.

    i think that any attempt at trying to bring the touchy feely stuff into it will backfire--thats the part he wont probably get (stuff like, well he feels like a girl inside will make zero sense).

    be as clinical and cold as a doctor would if they were telling you that you have bunions.

    but i think its very appropriate to reiterate the bullying lessons, especially since that IS something that eeyore can relate to.
  6. confuzzled

    confuzzled Member

    out of the mouth of mine:

    his parts might change but his personality wont.

    that says it better than i can.
  7. wethreepeeps

    wethreepeeps New Member

    I am transgendered and when my kids were young, I told them I was born with a girl body and a boy brain, and that I got doctors to help me make my outsides more like a boy's to match my boy brain.
  8. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    That is exactly what I told him. It made sense to him cause "things should match".